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EuphoriaII
04-04-2008, 09:18
A penguin is driving through the desert when he has car trouble. He take the car to a mechanic in a small town. While the mechanic is checking things out, the penguin goes to the grocery store across the street. Since it's really hot, the penguin decides to dive into the ice cream cooler and spends the afternoon eating ice cream.

When penguin returns to the garage, the mechanic comes out and tells the penguin, "It looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replied, "No way man, it's just ice cream on my face, I swear!".

mm_dm
04-04-2008, 09:59
I'm not sure which I liked better, the joke or your signature line. Good advice, don't add up the receipts:smiley20:

mentalmarine
04-04-2008, 10:14
A penguin is driving through the desert when he has car trouble. He take the car to a mechanic in a small town. While the mechanic is checking things out, the penguin goes to the grocery store across the street. Since it's really hot, the penguin decides to dive into the ice cream cooler and spends the afternoon eating ice cream.

When penguin returns to the garage, the mechanic comes out and tells the penguin, "It looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replied, "No way man, it's just ice cream on my face, I swear!".

:smilie39: That is awesome! I too like your signature.

ScubaJenn81
04-04-2008, 12:25
ewwwwwwwww, but funny.....

MSilvia
04-04-2008, 12:30
That's got to be the shortest route to that punchline I've ever heard. My uncle can tell that joke for 15 minutes. :smiley29:

Beaucoupfishies
04-04-2008, 16:22
What's sad is I first heard that joke in a computer game. Anyone ever play Leisure Suit Larry: Love for Sail?

It had a robot (pre-scandal) Bill Clinton doing stand up comedy.

IrishSquid
04-04-2008, 21:29
A penguin is driving through the desert when he has car trouble. He take the car to a mechanic in a small town. While the mechanic is checking things out, the penguin goes to the grocery store across the street. Since it's really hot, the penguin decides to dive into the ice cream cooler and spends the afternoon eating ice cream.

When penguin returns to the garage, the mechanic comes out and tells the penguin, "It looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replied, "No way man, it's just ice cream on my face, I swear!".

:smilie39::smilie39:

Black-Gorrilla
04-07-2008, 11:26
That's got to be the shortest route to that punchline I've ever heard. My uncle can tell that joke for 15 minutes. :smiley29:

as much as i love that joke, i can't even imagine what the 15 minute version sounds like.

mike_s
04-07-2008, 11:45
heard the same one, but it was an Eskimo who took his snow-mobile in to the mechanic. :rofl:

BamaDiver
04-16-2008, 13:41
thats funny

buddhasummer
04-18-2008, 01:50
A penguin is driving through the desert when he has car trouble. He take the car to a mechanic in a small town. While the mechanic is checking things out, the penguin goes to the grocery store across the street. Since it's really hot, the penguin decides to dive into the ice cream cooler and spends the afternoon eating ice cream.

When penguin returns to the garage, the mechanic comes out and tells the penguin, "It looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replied, "No way man, it's just ice cream on my face, I swear!".

thats pretty funny:smiley36:

Smashee
04-18-2008, 02:42
A "No way man, it's just ice cream on my face, I swear!".

:smilie39::smilie39::smilie39:

I'll tell that one on the next club trip. It's a 2-3 hour boat ride to the site, so old jokes are always welcome.

As we're on the subject of stupid jokes...

Picture the scene.

It's a quiet rural pub. The sort of place where the flies ride lazily around on the ceiling fan and a thin layer of dust covers the barman. You know the sort of place. There is an elderly chalkboard advertising toasted sandwiches in three exciting flavours, cheese, tomato and ham. A sign advertising Guinness flickers erratically in the heat of the evening. It is to this small country pub, dear forumers that I would like to take you...

The still of the evening is suddenly disturbed by a rabbit hopping into the pub.
"Evening" says the rabbit.
Stone the crows! A talking rabbit! thinks the barman but being unwilling to show any emotion, including surprise, he simply answers "Evening. What'll it be?"
"Pint of Guinness, mate." replys the rabbit. "Give us one of them cheese toasties too."
The barman serves the rabbit, who happily drinks his beer, eats his toastie and leaves.
That was odd, thought the barman so he tells his wife all about it.

The next evening, the rabbit returns. This time, the barman's wife is there and sees him.
"Pint of Guinness and a tomato toastie, please." The rabbit drinks his drink, eats his sandwich and leaves.
The barman's wife is astonished. "We can make some money out of this." she says and starts to telephone her friends.

The next night, the pub is half-full. This is great business for the old place. As expected, in walks the rabbit.
The rabbit looks around, shrugs and orders a pint of Guinness and a ham toastie. Eats it, walks out.
The crowd are amazed. After all, you don't see this sort of thing every day.

The barman is overjoyed. He's made more in a night than he normally makes in a week. "Tell your mates!" he says to the crowd. "He'll be in tomorrow, sure enough!"

Tomorrow night arrives and the entire town is gathered there. The pub is wall-to-wall full and the cash register is overflowing. The door opens and, regular as clockwork, there's the rabbit. A hush falls over the crowd and they move quietly aside to let him get to the bar.
"Pint of Guinness and a cheese, tomato and ham toastie." says the rabbit. Eats the sandwich, drinks the beer, hops away.
Come closing time, the barman is ecstatic. He's sold more beer tonight that he does in a month and is thinking about a buying a new pick-up.
As he steps outside to empty the ashtrays, he spots a small, dark shape lying silent and still on the ground. It's the rabbit. The barman is aghast. He can see his dreams of a new truck disappearing and starts to panic.
"What do I do, what do I do? Stew? No. He was a good customer. He deserves better." so he takes the limp body of the rabbit out to the beer garden and gives him a proper burial.

.
.
.
.
<We interrupt this joke for a moment of respectful silence>
.
.
.
.

Saturday evening comes around. The town is gathered in breathless expectation, along with the world's press, camera crews and news teams. The barman is starting to sweat. If he tells people the rabbit is dead, they'll leave. If they stay, he may be able to not only afford a new truck, but a holiday as well, his first in twenty years. There might even be enough left for a boat.

Time passes and night falls. Suddenly, the pub door is violently slammed back and an icy wind blows in, extinguishing the lamps and causing a chill to run down the spines of the gathered masses. Standing in the doorway, outlined in an eldritch light against the stars is the ghost of the rabbit, larger than life and far more horrible.

Terror breaks out. Camera crews are fighting with news teams to get out of the back-door. Anchormen and highly paid TV stars scramble over each other in their efforts to put as much distance between themselves and the eerie figure. Hardened farmers break down in tears and panic, screams and wails ring around the pub as the hideous creature advances towards the bar.

The barman is trapped. Nowhere to go, no place to hide he has only one choice. Try to talk his way out.

"E-e-evening sir. W-w-w-was the beer to your liking?" he asks, knowing the effect Guinness can have on some.
The rabbit fixes him with a glance that burns like the fury of Hell.
"The beer was fine", the rabbit replies, his voice drier than the dust of the desert.
'You're not annoyed about the burial, sir? I did the best I could..."
"The burial was fine"
"Th-then is you don't mind me asking sir, b-b-but what did you die from?"
The rabbit leaned closer, close enough for the barman to smell the stench of the grave on the rabbit's breath...
"Mixin' me toasties..."

matt151617
04-20-2008, 21:59
Lol, that's pretty good.