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View Full Version : Is there nothing that PADI won't try to sell you Part 2?!!?



rumblefish
07-04-2008, 10:41
I promised my self that I would stop making fun of PADI but… I JUST CAN’T HELP IT.

The master diver certification is the highest level of recreational diving, an accomplishment that any diver would be proud to possess. For those looking to attain their MSD certification, I give you the PADI Master Vegan Golfball Diver.

What you say? How can this be? Well, those fine folks at PADI have provided you a way of becoming a more rounded diver, while giving said diver an avenue to support their diving habit.

Let’s begin.

So you think that the Divemaster is the only way to begin making money at diving. Well, everyone thinks that those pretty boy/girls get all the dates and big tips. However, the PADI Golfball diver will give you a way to earn income for yourself, while you dive. Those DM tips will be nothing compared to your sack of balls that you bring up during your next dive.***

http://www.mds-scuba.com/edu/golfball.htm

***Don’t laugh, this is probably true :p

Next, we want you to dive safely while you collect golfballs at the local green. PADI provides for this by offering the PADI SMB Diver specialty. Let everyone know where you are as you scour the local pond. Learn to successfully deploy our SMB in the local pond, it could be the difference between life or death.

Surface Marker PADI Specialty (http://www.scubaherald.com/news/118/ARTICLE/1376/2007-08-07.html)

Now finding golfballs in a murky pond is not easy. PADI will provide you with the tool necessary for the best vision possible. Introducing the double-dome diving specialty. Learn to use this mask and increase your golfball catch.

Dive Masks by HydroOptix -- Visionaries -- Earn Your PADI Certification (http://www.hydrooptix.com/vs_pro_padimaster.html)

Can’t find enough golfballs to make a successful dive. Well, don’t just float there. Do as Seinfeld says, Not doing anything, pick up a broom. With the PADI Cleanup Diver, you can learn to pick up undersea trash. Double your income, golfball diver and undersea janitor.

Clean Up Diver - Specialty of the Month - September (http://www.diveaqaba.com/courses/cleanup.html)

Finally, PADI wants you to have a long and healthy dive career. PADI provides for you as well. Introducing the PADI Vegan diver specialty. Have you ever been diving and thought, hmmm that algae would make a nice salad dressing…no, well PADI has and they will gladly sell you this class to round out your master diver education.

Vegan Diver Distinctive Specialty


Vegan Diver is a one of a kind PADI Distinctive Specialty class created and taught only at Severino Scuba. In this class you will learn how our lifestyle choices affect the aquatic environment. A fun Vegan cooking class is presented for all to enjoy with recipes and tips to prepare your own Vegan meals at home.

PADI instructor Jeff Severino has been a professional chef for more than 20 years and has been a Vegan for 10.

Call today and discover all the great diving Florida has to offer!
Severino Scuba
941-721-4129
Email (info@severinoscuba.com)
We are a proud member of the
Anna Maria Island Chamber of Commerce


There you have it, those 5 classes, plus 50 dives and rescue, and you are on your way to a proud accomplishment and a potentially new career.

And just to mix things up, looking for a new experience. Think wetsuits/drysuits are for wimps. I give you NUDA, for those who prefer to be closer to marine environment.

http://www.nevada-scuba.com/nuda.html

Guys, afraid of the shrinkage issue. No worries about pulling a Castanza here. Take advantage of the natural refractive properties of water where everything looks bigger!! (Note to Master Vegan Golfball Divers, Do not combine the Double-dome specialty with NUDA as it cancels out this refractive advantage)

Now for all you scuba newbies, I want to reinforce the common mantra spoken around here. It’s not the certifying agency, but the instructor. So don’t be afraid to look around for the best instructor possible. I’m sure if you look around hard enough, you can find the Master Vegan GolfBall Diver certification through NAUI, SSI, or any other certifying agency….


Just a note, I did find a few other interesting PADI specialties that didn’t quite fit the MVGD program.

PADI Master Ice diver assistant – For those who want to ice dive, but are too lazy to get in the water.

Ice Diver Assitant (http://www.diversinc.com/course%20descriptions/ice_diver_tender_specialty.htm)

PADI Underwater Modeling Cert – Hey in low vis…you sorta look like Jessica Alba

U/W Modeling (http://www.diversinc.com/course%20descriptions/underwater_modeling.htm)


PADI Drift Ice Diver – Can’t be too careful with those ripping currents under the ice. (Excellent match for the PADI SMB diver cert)

ryuuhyou (http://www.robinson.co.jp/drift/index.html)

PADI Compressor Diver – Learn how to turn on, turn off, and polish a compressor, oh yeah and fill a tank.

Andark - PADI Compressor Awareness (http://www.andark.co.uk/site/diver_training/padi_specialties/padi_compressor_diver/default.aspx)

Maybe we could put together a Master Assistant Ice Drift Model Diver program….

Finally, Does your boss dive? Can’t get enough of the Office? Ever wonder what a specialty dive class would be like if the expert efficiency consultant put a class together. Well wonder no longer. Now you too can practice ripping your hair out underwater while PADI leads you through team building exercises while on compressed air. Brilliant!!!


Team Success (http://www.thescubaconnection.net/Training/Classes/TeamSuccess.htm)

Sorry to all you PADI guys, bored on a holiday..but hey you guys must be used to it by now!!

maggs_the
07-04-2008, 12:51
spectactular!!

you have managed to find classes and gadgets even i, a known compulsive anything-scuba buyer, will not buy.

impressive :D

SkuaSeptember
07-04-2008, 13:22
With all things silly that are for sale, it took at least one person to create it, another to OK it, and yet another to buy it!

BTW, AOW is also required for the Master Diver cert. You do have to do at least one deep and one navigation dive.

BuzzF117
07-04-2008, 13:28
Wife got master lightning diver on Wednesday night during her OW 1 & 2 dives since they had to end quickly due to lightning.

Eurodiver
07-16-2008, 03:11
P=Put
A=another
D=dollar
I=in

Or at least that is what all my friends say.
just for the record I am am PADI OW cert so I can make fun of it

chinacat46
07-16-2008, 08:37
P=Put
A=another
D=dollar
I=in

Or at least that is what all my friends say.
just for the record I am am PADI OW cert so I can make fun of it

That is so old. If you do a search you'll probably find it 20 times in the Scubay Toys forum not to mention all over the web. :smiley21:

RikRaeder
07-16-2008, 08:44
I prefer;
Pneumatically
Actuated
Dollar
Inductors

Swanny
07-16-2008, 09:03
How about:

Pay
And
Dive
Immediately

chinacat46
07-16-2008, 09:05
If you can't beat em join em.

Not
Another
Underwater
Idiot

WetHog
07-16-2008, 09:41
Did anyone happen to notice the "Gourmet Diver" specialty on that link. It was not clickable so I don't know the requirements. I'm wondering if perhaps they might be you are the one to cook the steaks and buy the beers for the end of the day barbecue???


Golf Ball Diver (http://www.mds-scuba.com/edu/golfball.htm)
Gourmet Diver
Ice (http://www.mds-scuba.com/edu/icedive.htm)

"Great steak son, here's your C Card!" :smilie39:

aggie99
07-16-2008, 10:05
The one I heard:

P = Poor
A = Attempt at
D = Diving
I = Instruction

BuzzF117
07-16-2008, 10:24
The one I heard:

P = Poor
A = Attempt at
D = Diving
I = Instruction

You know you can get horrible instructors no matter the certifying agency!!!!

aggie99
07-16-2008, 10:49
The one I heard:

P = Poor
A = Attempt at
D = Diving
I = Instruction

You know you can get horrible instructors no matter the certifying agency!!!!

It was just a funny acronym I heard, I know it has more to do with the instructor than the agency.

Vercingetorix
07-16-2008, 11:18
aggie99, be advised there are a lot of people on this forum that are very sensitive about their agency, especially PADI. Why the defensiveness, I don't know. It's a buzz-saw I encountered again just a little while ago; I wasn't even joking about PADI or criticizing it. But, man, this one guy, became HOSTILE and DEFENSIVE.

TRACI
07-16-2008, 12:34
Wow, I thought SSI had alot of certifications and specialities!

digitalman
07-16-2008, 12:36
aggie99, be advised there are a lot of people on this forum that are very sensitive about their agency, especially PADI. Why the defensiveness, I don't know. It's a buzz-saw I encountered again just a little while ago; I wasn't even joking about PADI or criticizing it. But, man, this one guy, became HOSTILE and DEFENSIVE.

Yes, we should be sensitive to the organizations. I'm certified under two of them, and have noticed that others are certified in several. Without their global presence and 'standards', we'd be required to proove our abilities everywhere we went before being allowed to dive outside our local regions.

As a side note though, no matter how hostile a person gets on a thread, all most of us will ever be is a screen name to each other. That's similar to calling tech support for a computer company and yelling at the operator located in another country. Some people need to realize that opinions are just that, opinions, and if you don't agree, move on and let it be.

digitalman
07-16-2008, 12:40
http://www.mds-scuba.com/edu/golfball.htm


I've been to this dive shop before. Golfing is popular in the town, so it kinda makes sense....just not sense enough to get a speciality in it :smilie39:

waytooslow
07-16-2008, 13:10
Humour - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humour)

for those having problems :smiley20:

obrules15
07-16-2008, 13:30
I think the thing that bugs me most is the agency bashing in general. I am just happy that there is someone out there to make more divers so that the sport as a whole can hopefully grow and thrive and I can continue to get updated new gadgets and geegaws from ST. I have seen good and bad divers from all agencies and while I agree that there are certain things that could be improved -- life ain't perfect.

"Can't we all just get along!"

mchain
07-16-2008, 14:00
(Note to Master Vegan Golfball Divers, Do not combine the Double-dome specialty with NUDA as it cancels out this refractive advantage)

That made me laugh.