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creggur
08-11-2007, 13:41
My wife and I were talking about this, this morning when I noticed that my bottle of Sea Gold Mask Deffoger had this warning:

Sea Gold is a concentrated formula not for use on :smiley29:contact lenses:smiley29: or swim goggles.


This is one of the funnier SCUBA related ones I've seen. What are some good one's you guys have come accross??

bullshark
08-11-2007, 14:46
on the package for the fanbelt for my truck it said

do not change this belt with the engine running



of course you know why they have to write stuff like this on there right, because someone has tried it and called the manufacturer and complained

letsgodiving
08-11-2007, 14:53
on the package for the fanbelt for my truck it said

do not change this belt with the engine running



I would pay good money to watch someone try. :smilie39:

ScubaToys Larry
08-11-2007, 15:03
We once carried a tank weight that was basically a cam latch and a 5lb weight. Honesty, on the strap was this warning:

To avoid scuba related injury or death, do not dive.

Kind of sums it up!

But lets be honest... we are a society where we have to put instructions on shampoo.

3rdEye
08-11-2007, 15:11
stupid people predicate these stupid warnings....

DivingsInMyBlood
08-11-2007, 16:37
warning may burn, on a coffee cup.

NitroWill
08-11-2007, 16:55
http://www.singletrackworld.co.uk/mod/submit/images/967-2.jpg

ORLY??

Cichlid
08-11-2007, 17:00
http://msnbcmedia2.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/040114/040114_warning_7.hmedium.jpg

:smiley32:

torrey
08-11-2007, 17:06
But lets be honest... we are a society where we have to put instructions on shampoo.

Speaking of...remember the commercial back in the late 70's...can't remember the shampoo name, but a lady would announce "such-and-such shampoo has beer in it, but dooooon't drink it!"

I'm sure somebody tried.

DivingsInMyBlood
08-11-2007, 17:11
dont forget the whole red bull gives you wings, then the disclaimer straight after that saying it doesnt actually give you wings.

cummings66
08-11-2007, 17:41
Sea Gold is a concentrated formula not for use on :smiley29:contact lenses:smiley29: or swim goggles.

I'm not sure, my swim goggles are plastic and my dive mask has tempered glass if I remember right. I am pretty sure it's not plastic so it's possible that it will damage plastics.

creggur
08-11-2007, 19:45
Sea Gold is a concentrated formula not for use on :smiley29:contact lenses:smiley29: or swim goggles.

I'm not sure, my swim goggles are plastic and my dive mask has tempered glass if I remember right. I am pretty sure it's not plastic so it's possible that it will damage plastics.

I really focused on the contact lenses, I mean seriously has someone actually tried to de-fog their contact lenses with this stuff??

DivingsInMyBlood
08-11-2007, 19:59
Sea Gold is a concentrated formula not for use on :smiley29:contact lenses:smiley29: or swim goggles.

I'm not sure, my swim goggles are plastic and my dive mask has tempered glass if I remember right. I am pretty sure it's not plastic so it's possible that it will damage plastics.

I really focused on the contact lenses, I mean seriously has someone actually tried to de-fog their contact lenses with this stuff??


im sure it would feel great :smiley29:

Black-Gorrilla
08-11-2007, 21:42
that slight burning means the lenses are working...

"rinse lather repeat" on shampoo (instructions)
im sure there is someone that is still in that shower.

a motor oil bottle said "do no ingest" is it possible that someone actually did?

Black-Gorrilla
08-11-2007, 21:45
http://engrish.com/image/engrish/yoyo.jpg
http://engrish.com/image/engrish/mobile_phone.jpg

Splitlip
08-12-2007, 08:39
I like the ones on the sun shades you put in the wind sheild of a parked car.
"Do not drive with sun shade in place"

tedtim
08-12-2007, 11:27
I'm not sure, my swim goggles are plastic and my dive mask has tempered glass if I remember right. I am pretty sure it's not plastic so it's possible that it will damage plastics.
I have been using it on my swim goggles for a few years without a problem.

94GTStang
08-12-2007, 16:56
I have seen people use all kinds of stuff on contact lenses. Everyday I need to remind people not to put them in their mouth to wet them. Some real winners out there

Black-Gorrilla
08-12-2007, 17:32
I have seen people use all kinds of stuff on contact lenses. Everyday I need to remind people not to put them in their mouth to wet them. Some real winners out there

you know my cousin?
:smiley36:

Axewizard
08-13-2007, 08:41
Working in the restaurant industry, I see a bunch of 'em. My favorites are the warnings on the menus that include the hot beverage thing, the undercooked egg thing, oh...THE SHELLFISH THING UNDER THE SHRIMP BASKET...good night help me!

porsche060
08-13-2007, 08:46
Too many lawyers in this world

creggur
08-13-2007, 08:50
I have seen people use all kinds of stuff on contact lenses. Everyday I need to remind people not to put them in their mouth to wet them. Some real winners out there

I've done this in an emergency before...I wouldn't recommend it either, but i survived...:smiley16:

yankeefan21
08-13-2007, 08:58
On my package of peanuts:

Warning: This product has been processed in a plant that also processes nuts.

Harshal
08-13-2007, 11:35
I forgot what brand the body wash was, but I remember reading it on one of the body wash under the name it said 101 uses of soap…….lol
The only use of soap I know is to wash or clean, unless you can drink it or dive your car with it………..lol

NitroWill
08-13-2007, 13:22
http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200701/r122297_393161.jpg

Disneymom
08-13-2007, 13:38
http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n107/disneymom62/labels_4.jpg
DO NOT USE FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE

Good Lord, I should hope not!

thor
08-13-2007, 13:39
I love this one. Bag of Peanuts. Warning: may contain trace amount of peanuts ...

94GTStang
08-13-2007, 13:41
I have seen people use all kinds of stuff on contact lenses. Everyday I need to remind people not to put them in their mouth to wet them. Some real winners out there

you know my cousin?
:smiley36:

hahaha

He do the same thing? :smiley36:

Doghouse
08-13-2007, 14:12
This product is not ment for use as a dental drill.

On a Woodworking Router.

nferra2
08-13-2007, 18:48
My rotary tool has that warning. It made me think, maybe I should use this as a dental tool.

WV Diver
08-13-2007, 21:05
On the back of "Sea Drops" it says. Eye Irritant. Avoid direct contact with eyes ...............etc.

What? This stuff is all but in my eye.

This is why I use a baby shampoo and water mix. It doesn't hurt your eyes, everytime you use it you are cleaning your lenses, after the dive you can use it to take a shower with, and I can go to the dollar store and get a lifetime supply for two or three bucks.

TAH 73
08-13-2007, 21:29
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"On a toaster" -- Do not use underwater.
"On a Swedish chain saw" -- Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

TAH 73
08-13-2007, 21:37
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.

yankeefan21
08-14-2007, 05:00
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
:smilie39:

Buoyant1
08-14-2007, 11:23
We once carried a tank weight that was basically a cam latch and a 5lb weight. Honesty, on the strap was this warning:

To avoid scuba related injury or death, do not dive.

Kind of sums it up!

But lets be honest... we are a society where we have to put instructions on shampoo.


lather rinse repeat...who's still stuck?

scuba Widow
09-01-2007, 14:36
The bad thing about product warning labels...is that there is a need for them.

scuba Widow
09-01-2007, 19:39
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

Formerly 45yroldNewbie
09-01-2007, 19:42
Warining in the instructions of an iron. Warning do not use on clothes while wearing.

scubasamurai
09-01-2007, 20:07
Too many lawyers in this world

too many stupid people in the world looking for a free ride. like the warning on coffee "HOT MAY CAUSE BURNS" thanks to an old women who decided to put the coffee cup in her lap and than drive off. duh!!!! its coffee and its hot result millions from mc d!!!!!

darwin theory of evolution needs to be updated daily

Suther2136
09-01-2007, 20:39
I like the bottled water labels. Calories 0, % RDA 0
fat 0g, % RDA 0, Cholesterol 0, %RDA 0 written for friggen morons. On the other hand, my wife me a lady in weight watchers who thought she hit the big time. This lady came in for a weigh in boasting that she ate a blooming onion the night before, 'cause onions are zero points in the system. She needs these warning labels.

scubasamurai
09-01-2007, 20:59
hahahah except that onion was fried in saturated fat oil and adds billions of fat calories hahahah

greyzen
09-01-2007, 22:51
In some cases yeah, they are stupid.
But in a lot of cases, if you don't warn them... they'll sue you.

kevinj1
09-01-2007, 22:53
''Do not apply baby shampoo directly into child's eyes''
What are people doing in this world to make companies put this on their bottles?

Jellybeandiver
10-21-2007, 19:40
Abosulety Clear defog actually says "do not apply directly to eyes."

Jellybeandiver
10-21-2007, 19:41
the LDS has a inflatable display for Sea Drops that is shape like a bottle of the defog. It states. "Not to be used as a floatation device"

dludwig
10-21-2007, 19:48
I read that Pepper Spray had the following warning
"May irritate eyes" :smiley29:

Do you think...?

Boris42
10-21-2007, 20:24
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

turtle_guy
10-21-2007, 20:44
"do not use thermometer while using rotisserie" in an oven

chace_nicole
10-21-2007, 20:58
Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate pregnancy.

Good that they have em, but I think everyone knows smoking is not so good for ya! DUH

WAHMof2
10-23-2007, 22:41
The Handling Instructions taken directly from the MSDS sheet for

Brand Information Brand Name: Desitin Diaper Rash Ointment, Fresh Scent Form: cream Product Category: Personal care/use >> Babies & Kids >> diaper rash treatment
Customer Service No.: 800-223-0182 Date Entered: 2003-09-11 Related Items: Products with similar usage in this database (http://householdproducts.nlm.nih.gov/cgi-bin/household/prodtree?prodcat=Personal+care/use&purpose=Babies+%26+Kids&type=diaper+rash+treatment) http://householdproducts.nlm.nih.gov/graphics/x.gif http://householdproducts.nlm.nih.gov/graphics/x.gif

Handling/Disposal Handling: MSDS: GENERAL HANDLING: Use only in a well-ventilated area. Avoid contact with eyes, skin and clothing. Use appropriate personal protective equipment. Wash thoroughly after handling.
STORAGE CONDITIONS: Keep container tightly closed when not in use. Sore out of direct sunlight in a well-ventilated area at room temperature.
TEMPERATURE RANGE FOR STORAGE: 15-30 deg C (59-86 deg F).
Disposal: MSDS: Incineration is the recommended method of disposal for this material. Treatment, storage, transportation and disposal must be in accordance with applicable Federal, State, and Local regulations.



This stuff is made for a BARE BABY BUTT!!!! It's all about the chemicals used these days :smiley21:

robanna
10-24-2007, 13:58
I need this on a bumper sticker:

To avoid scuba related injury or death, do not dive.
This one made me laugh:

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.

terrillja
10-24-2007, 15:41
I personally like the ones that didn't translate properly from whatever language they were written in into english. Those are always good for a laugh.

torrey
10-25-2007, 08:40
I personally like the ones that didn't translate properly from whatever language they were written in into english. Those are always good for a laugh.

You mean like this?

http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/crap-your-hands.jpg

Defman
10-25-2007, 09:15
Good thing I was drinking anything!! I would have spewed for sure, that's greatness!!

torrey
10-29-2007, 12:11
I've seen it dozens of times and it still cracks me up. I keep picturing a kid looking at their hands and wondering if Elmo is serious.

Big Mike
10-29-2007, 12:45
On a large commercial clothes dryer....."Do not put people in this dryer"...No Kidding

Tableleg
10-29-2007, 13:46
I still think that if we were to remove all the warning lables, within a year the average IQ would increase by 20 points due to all the morons being removed from the gene pool... :smiley36:

Ram4wd
11-05-2007, 12:40
Thanks for the postings, they sure picked up my day. While not stupid warnings, the contraindications sited on commercially marketed medications sometimes makes the thing they are treating seem not so bad. just my 2c.

RoadRacer1978
11-05-2007, 12:43
Yeah I love how almost evey medication warning includes "Death" as a side effect. Guess that would cure what ails you though. :)

robanna
11-05-2007, 14:03
OK, I was on a Frontier flight yesterday and on the bottom of the tray table it said:

No Smoking
Life Vest Under Your Seat

I don't think that would taste very good but enough people must be smoking them that they need to tell you not too. :D JK

webwidejosh
11-05-2007, 14:50
Too many lawyers in this world

too many stupid people in the world looking for a free ride. like the warning on coffee "HOT MAY CAUSE BURNS" thanks to an old women who decided to put the coffee cup in her lap and than drive off. duh!!!! its coffee and its hot result millions from mc d!!!!!

darwin theory of evolution needs to be updated daily

Ah, but if you read the whole story the coffee was far hotter than coffee EVER needs to be served. That is called negligence. Also, if I'm correct the medical bills may have been sufficient but even that was refused. I would have sued too.

webwidejosh
11-05-2007, 14:53
I personally like the ones that didn't translate properly from whatever language they were written in into english. Those are always good for a laugh.

Oh yeah? Here is a whole site. Have at it!

Welcome to Engrish.com! (http://www.engrish.com/)

RoadRacer1978
11-05-2007, 14:53
Yes, much more to the story than most of us heard. If you can find the whole story, it is on the net, you get a better understanding of McD's gross negligence and why the jury made the award they did.

kyfriedchipper
11-05-2007, 15:01
I work for a large company that makes the most complicated products in production in the world today. We even still have signs on the stairs that say "use the handrails so you don't fall" and signs on how to ladle soup properly so you don't burn yourself in the cafeteria!

kenmendes
11-05-2007, 15:11
They have to put warnings like that on things because someone actually did it thats why they have to post it. funny huh

RoadRacer1978
11-05-2007, 15:33
I personally like the ones that didn't translate properly from whatever language they were written in into english. Those are always good for a laugh.

Oh yeah? Here is a whole site. Have at it!

Welcome to Engrish.com! (http://www.engrish.com/)

Not sure if it was just because I am tired, but I laughed harder at these pictures than I have laughed in a long time. Thanks for that.

Steve Scuba
11-05-2007, 16:19
I personally like the ones that didn't translate properly from whatever language they were written in into english. Those are always good for a laugh.

Oh yeah? Here is a whole site. Have at it!

Welcome to Engrish.com! (http://www.engrish.com/)

Not sure if it was just because I am tired, but I laughed harder at these pictures than I have laughed in a long time. Thanks for that.

Nope, not just you. I think I hurt myself laughing at a couple of those.

Anne Eastwell
11-05-2007, 16:25
How about the warning on a packet of peanuts.... "may contain traces of nuts".... no kidding!!!

Anne Eastwell
11-05-2007, 16:28
http://engrish.com/image/engrish/yoyo.jpg
http://engrish.com/image/engrish/mobile_phone.jpg


I'm curious about the "mental parts" in the yo yo when disassembled....

Vegas
11-05-2007, 16:32
. . . .

Ah, but if you read the whole story the coffee was far hotter than coffee EVER needs to be served. That is called negligence. Also, if I'm correct the medical bills may have been sufficient but even that was refused. I would have sued too.


You've got it right....thanks for posting this....

Vegas
11-05-2007, 16:37
http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n107/disneymom62/labels_4.jpg
DO NOT USE FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE

Good Lord, I should hope not!

OMG!
:tired:

Vegas
11-05-2007, 16:44
years ago, when I used to smoke, I was reading the little sticker on my disposable cigarette lighter....
it said

"Do not use near fire or flame"

I swear it's true.

Vegas
11-05-2007, 17:00
Oh yeah? Here is a whole site. Have at it!

Welcome to Engrish.com! (http://www.engrish.com/)


I look at the pictures on this site...
...then i clean up the coffee spewed all over my desk....:smiley32:


but it makes me think.....

what about all these american girls and guys that have various chinese symbols tattooed on them?
they are happy to tell you
"it means _______!". (usually something deep and meaningful...)

I always want to ask them....."Are you SURE?"

(Crap your Hands, Elmo! Crap your hands!)

Steve Scuba
11-05-2007, 18:15
The picture is funny enough, but the warnings are quite serious. Aside from the funny translation - who the heck is going to eat batteries?

Anne Eastwell
11-05-2007, 18:21
http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n107/disneymom62/labels_4.jpg
DO NOT USE FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE

Good Lord, I should hope not!

OMG!
:tired:


I dunno, you'd be clean....:smilie39:

RoadRacer1978
11-05-2007, 18:28
Not a warning, but a classic:

http://www.users.totalise.co.uk/~simonboor/drivethru.JPG

And here is an example of the obvious taking priority over the real danger:

http://www.hemmy.net/images/funny/funnysign03.jpg

Vegas
11-05-2007, 18:46
a good sign

bversteegh
11-05-2007, 19:29
On a push lawnmower - "Do not use to trim bushes"

marchand
11-05-2007, 23:44
I once saw a sign that said "resume safe speed" along a long stretch of road...

dburg30
11-06-2007, 08:25
On a push lawnmower - "Do not use to trim bushes"

I'm in that business, and as you can guess, someone actually did pick up their push mower, that said 'Do not put feet under mower'. They claimed it didnt say anything about not putting their hands under it, to trim the bushes..


Also, re: the pepper spray that says 'May Irritate eyes?' Well, if I buy pepper spray I want the stuff that 'Will Irritate Eyes', none of this cheap 'may'

terrillja
11-06-2007, 08:55
I had posted this on another thread. Apparently the person who wrote it wanted to see if you could submerge yourself while wearing a PFD. Might be interesting to watch.

I like this, I just went to the NFM Scooter site, the interesting parts are bolded in red:



Sea Scooter vs Supercharged (350W)
Specification and technical data
Dimensions (inch): 23.5 x 14.4 x 12.2
Net weight: Highly maneuverable-weighs just 18 lbs including battery
Speed: Capable of pulling along the underwater world effortlessly and comfortably at up to 4.5 miles per hour.
Operating time: up to 60 minutes
Battery: 24V 6Ah
Depth rating: 100 feet
Motor: 350 W TWO SPEEDS
Life: approximately up to 300 charging cycles
Accessories: deluxe carry bag, battery, charger included.
Second battery is only $40.00 with new sea scooter purchase.
If you purchase battery separately, please use this link (http://www.nfmdirect.com/seabattery.htm).
Always wear a coast guard approved personal flotation device when using sea scooter.
So how is it that you are supposed to go to 100' while wearing a PFD? To be honest, I'd like to see someone try to go to 10' while wearing a proper PFD.

paintsnow
11-07-2007, 01:50
on Child's cough medicine

warning, may cause drowsiness, do not operate heavy machinery or vehicles.

torrey
11-07-2007, 09:48
So how is it that you are supposed to go to 100' while wearing a PFD? To be honest, I'd like to see someone try to go to 10' while wearing a proper PFD.

Sounds like they essentially are trying to remove themselves from all liability with that. You know nobody is going to use that thing with a flotation device. If they do, the company could say "well, we told ya so". That's like saying a car is capable of speeds beyond the speed limit, but only do that at a race track. We all nobody is going to follow that.