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BSea
09-17-2008, 20:32
Top Ten Country & Western Songs.



10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day.

MDDIVER
09-17-2008, 21:03
Who sings these songs. I have only heard #1 I think its the cherry bombs.

Warren
09-17-2008, 21:58
Awesome!

:smilie39:

trekkindave
09-18-2008, 07:23
I personally like "she thinks my tractors sexy"

unclepooty
09-18-2008, 08:42
"I used to kiss her sweet sweet lips, but left her behind for you"

MSilvia
09-18-2008, 10:05
You forgot "I got over her when she got under him".

Rileybri
09-18-2008, 13:41
"I like my women a little on the trashy side!" should be on that list somewhere.

BuzzF117
09-18-2008, 18:59
David Allen Coe

You don't even call me by my name


WELL, IT WAS ALL
THAT I COULD DO TO KEEP FROM CRYING’
SOMETIMES IT SEEMED SO USELESS TO REMAIN
BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME DARLIN’, DARLIN'
YOU NEVER EVEN CALL ME BY MY NAME
YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME WAYLON JENNINGS
AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME CHARLIE PRIDE
AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME MERLE HAGGARD/ANYMORE
EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE ON MY FIGHTING’ SIDE
CHORUS:
AND I’LL HANG AROUND AS LONG AS YOU WILL LET ME
AND I NEVER MINDED STANDING’ IN THE RAIN
BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME DARLIN’, DARLIN’
YOU NEVER EVEN CALLED ME BY MY NAME
WELL, I’VE HEARD MY NAME
A FEW TIMES IN YOUR PHONE BOOK (Hello, Hello)
AND I’VE SEEN IT ON SIGNS WHERE I’VE PLAYED
BUT THE ONLY TIME I KNOW
I’LL HEAR "DAVID ALLAN COE"
IS WHEN JESUS HAS HIS FINAL JUDGMENT DAY
REPEAT CHORUS
RECITATION:
WELL, A FRIEND OF MINE NAMED STEVE GOODMAN WROTE THAT SONG
AND HE TOLD ME IT WAS THE PERFECT COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
I WROTE HIM BACK A LETTER AND I TOLD HIM IT WAS NOT THE PERFECT COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG BECAUSE HE HADN’T SAID ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT MAMA,
OR TRAINS,
OR TRUCKS,
OR PRISON,
OR GETTING’ DRUNK
WELL HE SAT DOWN AND WROTE ANOTHER VERSE TO THE SONG
AND HE SENT IT TO ME,
AND AFTER READING IT,
I REALIZED THAT MY FRIEND HAD WRITTEN THE PERFECT
COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
AND I FELT OBLIGED TO INCLUDE IT ON THIS ALBUM
THE LAST VERSE GOES LIKE THIS HERE:
WELL, I WAS DRUNK THE DAY MY MOM GOT OUT OF PRISON
AND I WENT TO PICK HER UP IN THE RAIN
BUT BEFORE I COULD GET TO THE STATION IN MY PICKUP TRUCK
SHE GOT RUN NED OVER BY A DAMNED OLD TRAIN
CHORUS:
AND I’LL HANG AROUND AS LONG AS YOU WILL LET ME
AND I NEVER MINDED STANDING’ IN THE RAIN
NO, A’ YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME DARLIN’, DARLIN’
YOU NEVER EVEN CALL ME
WELL I WONDER WHY YOU DON’T CALL ME
WHY DON’T YOU EVER CALL ME BY MY NAME

UCFKnightDiver
09-23-2008, 09:40
hmm how about some Garth Brooks?

Bert
09-23-2008, 14:55
how about Pat Daily.
my puddn puttn out in put in bay
you dont need to be drunk.
its so big
the perfect woman
just how drunk are we gonna get

shovelhead91701
09-23-2008, 16:39
any song by Rodney Carrington should be on this list.......

scuba Widow
09-23-2008, 22:10
anything by Tim Mcgraw

Doug B
09-24-2008, 19:18
One of my favorite movie quotes....


"....we've got both kinds of music here.... country AND western."

CFDAlden
09-25-2008, 00:04
One of my favorite movie quotes....


"....we've got both kinds of music here.... country AND western."


Now that's a classic movie!

maverick
09-25-2008, 00:17
A couple of shots of whiskey and a beer and I'm bullet proof.

BuzzF117
09-25-2008, 18:08
hmm how about some Garth Brooks?

Garth Brooks is a Country Western wanna beeee

highdesert
09-25-2008, 20:27
What's "Country & Western"?

K9Pig
09-25-2008, 21:36
If you play the record backwards you will get everything you lost back. The girl, house, car/truck and the money, hey she will even love you again...:smiley36:

But don't for get to feed Jake!!!! YouTube - Feed Jake-Pirates of the Mississippi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5gprnfFBMI)

roofless
09-25-2008, 22:22
'Drinkinstein' as sung by Sylvester Stallone in the movie Rhinestone.

YouTube - Stallone is Drinkenstein (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1WSPAvT7qE)

my personal favorite

gilboadiver
09-26-2008, 07:40
We got both kinds of music in here, Country and Western

bdinnocenzo
09-26-2008, 20:21
Don't forget the classic by the Bellamy Brothers...

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?