PDA

View Full Version : Practical Jokes for divers. Whose got some?



Splitlip
08-14-2007, 19:23
No I am not talking about turning someone's gas off at depth or putting Atomic Balm in somebody's wetsuit. But clever stuff.

I am particularly proud of one I pulled on night dive on a local charter.

I had purchased some used golf clubs (useless activity, but sometimes you gotta do it). In the bag I found 4 $1000.00 (MXN) coins from the 1980's. These coins are worthless since Mexico revalued their currancy in the 90's. The coins however are big and heavy and are minted it would seem from a bronze alloy. Maybe copper, but more yellowish.

In any event, (I think you know where I am going with this), I took the coins on the dive and brought them to the bottom with me in a pocket. When ever I thought somebody was looking at me, I would go through this production of swimming down, fanning sand then putting my hand in my pocket.

I showed one person under the light one coin just before we assended. I need an unwitting acompliss.

Back on deck it was quite exciting. I was surprised that a couple others had "seen" the exotic (could they be gold dabloons?!) coins too, but were unable to get to them because I was so quick.:smilie39:

dallasdivergirl
08-15-2007, 13:11
That's funny & wrong all rolled in one.

I had some one turn my air back on after I had turned it off to put water in my bio filter. Needless to say when I tried to put the water in it went every where along with my little fill-up bottle.

WV Diver
08-15-2007, 13:34
It's always fun to put a good portion a cheese whiz in the BC pocket of some unsuspecting victim. We do this at the lake where there are a lot of fish that are use to getting free handouts. The cheese slowly releases its tantalizing aromas as the person dives and when they stop they get attacked by hundreds of bluegill and bass.

Your little trick would work well with some iron pyrite. You could even let them look at it or better yet, let them find it.

Most people don't know the difference.

ScaredSilly
08-15-2007, 15:46
Took a few divers on their first dive which happened to be the weekend before Halloween. I asked them if they ever had been to the old row boat. Nope cool lets go. Now the water in the lake is pretty murky at best 5' of vis. so I said I will take a bearing and follow behind me. Off we went. Just as we got to the boat I let them pass by so they could see the boat in its totality. At that point I got my oct ready and prepared to grab them when they bolted. Sure enough as they shined their lights on the boat they started to bolt - seems I forgot to mention the very life like mannequins in the boat.

Cichlid
08-15-2007, 21:41
Super Glue in the reg mouthpiece...cracks me up everytime! :smiley36:

Splitlip
08-15-2007, 22:19
It's always fun to put a good portion a cheese whiz in the BC pocket of some unsuspecting victim. We do this at the lake where there are a lot of fish that are use to getting free handouts. The cheese slowly releases its tantalizing aromas as the person dives and when they stop they get attacked by hundreds of bluegill and bass.



I like that. I might try it. Only here it might work better with chunk of bloody Bonito :smiley36:.

Centerius
08-15-2007, 22:21
Super Glue in the reg mouthpiece...cracks me up everytime! :smiley36:

I hope that was a joke... :smilie40:

DivingsInMyBlood
08-15-2007, 22:41
Super Glue in the reg mouthpiece...cracks me up everytime! :smiley36:

I hope that was a joke... :smilie40:

that seems like the fastest way to get a guy killed by who ever is on the recieving end of that joke.

tremtech
09-24-2007, 11:57
After my one of my buddies called to cancel on our planned early am dive trip due to a lost fin from his truck. Note this guy is a very serious spearfisherman and cave certed diver that owns a $9000 rebreather and three or four camo wetsuits and masks but his spare fins were in Tampa. I told him I had a spare set of large fins he could borrow plus I needed a buddy. We loaded my boat and headed out. I kept the spare fins stashed in my bag until we got to the site. The four of us staged our gear and then he asked for the fins. you had to see his face when I broke my wifes pretty flaming pink Dacors out, he was pissed and almost wouldnt dive, especialy when he caught me trying to taking his picture. The other guys ragged on him all day and they still comment on how secure he was with his manhood. he deleted the picture of my digital, that bastard.

crpntr133
09-24-2007, 12:53
Cheese whiz on the hood after entering the water seems to be a good one as well. They can't see them coming.

Want to do something kinda neat to yourself? Put cheese whiz on your own mask and watch the fish attack it. Be prepared to clear your mask even the small ones can hit pretty hard.

Steve Scuba
09-24-2007, 12:59
Want to do something kinda neat to yourself? Put cheese whiz on your own mask and watch the fish attack it. Be prepared to clear your mask even the small ones can hit pretty hard.

Good lord, I think that would scare the crap outta me. But then I'm not used to having animals of any sort snapping up food less than an inch from my eyes.

Vegas
09-24-2007, 15:30
. . .

Want to do something kinda neat to yourself? Put cheese whiz on your own mask and watch the fish attack it. Be prepared to clear your mask even the small ones can hit pretty hard.


Wow this sounds so cool!! I have GOT to try it. I'll bet my buddy would help! LOL!! I'll make sure he brings the camera~

crpntr133
09-24-2007, 16:40
It is for sure something that you will never forget. Those little buggers will hit hard if they get a chance. Sometimes you just get a group going after it and there is really no hard hitting.
A friend of mine shot a video once where a blue gill hit the camera for no apparent reason. You could hear the thud when the gill hit the lens.

scubasavvy
09-24-2007, 16:42
Put the cheese whiz in the crotch of their wetsuit. There's something they'll never forget...

quasimoto
09-24-2007, 21:32
I have heard of someone going around putting a...uhm.. fake male member on his buddies. He would hang it just about anyplace. I remember one guy that he hung it on his manifold for his doubles. They decided to do valve drills and the guy grabbed it. It was a hoot. He does this at the end of a dive while doing a safety stop. The guys really love it when he has a friend to take pictures. :D

Flatliner
09-24-2007, 23:12
Put the cheese whiz in the crotch of their wetsuit. There's something they'll never forget...

Sick and WRONG...:smilie39:

Flatliner
09-24-2007, 23:13
A guy on SB posted about taking his sunglasses down in a pocket, taking his mask off at the safety stop and giving it to his buddy and then returning to the boat in sunglasses. I can't wait to try that one the first time I dive on my dad's boat next year...

quasimoto
09-25-2007, 15:28
I think he also has his avatar with the glasses on.

diverdad
09-25-2007, 21:20
Some of ya'lls jokes are just wrong. I can't wait to try them.

DiverBry
09-25-2007, 21:38
Toss a dozen Alka-seltzers into your buddy's weight pockets...

Note: unwrapped works best...

ScubaToys Larry
09-25-2007, 22:06
I've yet to go on a trip when Joe doesn't sneak in to my bag and set every computer alarm to go off... Max depth 30 ft. Turn around time 2500 low on air alamr 2000, etc... Great doing a dive with your computer stuck in side your wetsuit to try to quiet the non stop beeping.... Oh that joe....

jeraldjcook
09-25-2007, 23:08
How about the ol' putting a badger in your buddy's drysuit gag. Gets me every time.

paintsnow
09-26-2007, 00:02
ive always thought that tying a short piece of fishing line with a hook and bait on it would be pretty funny if they got a bite.

but the hook floating around on invisible string makes it kinda risky

oh and i really like the male member idea, and the alka seltzer sounds pretty good too. and the cheese sounds fun.
heck thats all of them
great pranks, we need more though

badfrog88
09-29-2007, 10:23
On one of my dive trips someone thought it would be funny to put shaving cream in my 2nd stage mouthpiece. I didn't find the humor in it.:smiley11:

jlittlejohn321
09-29-2007, 11:34
Put some chum in there Pockets when helping them in. Youll see thousands of fish just swarming and them having no idea. Also when helping them in turn off there air theyll be going down and take a breath and be freaking!

fire diver
09-29-2007, 12:07
I've yet to go on a trip when Joe doesn't sneak in to my bag and set every computer alarm to go off... Max depth 30 ft. Turn around time 2500 low on air alamr 2000, etc... Great doing a dive with your computer stuck in side your wetsuit to try to quiet the non stop beeping.... Oh that joe....


LOL!! I have to try that one in the future!

paintsnow
09-29-2007, 12:08
On one of my dive trips someone thought it would be funny to put shaving cream in my 2nd stage mouthpiece. I didn't find the humor in it.:smiley11:

that would have been funny if they used whipped cream
but i cant image that shaving cream would taste good.

bversteegh
09-29-2007, 17:39
Put some of the squid they give you to feed the stingrays at Stingray City in Grand Cayman on your buddy - doesn't matter where. The yellow snappers will absolutely drive them crazy, it looks like a Piranha scrum.

scuba-taylor
09-29-2007, 17:55
Poke some holes in a can of tuna and slip it into your buddy's highest BC pocket ( for an extra laugh put several cans in diff. pockets and watch all the fish swarm his entire upper body) !!!!!! LOL

chinacat46
09-29-2007, 18:00
Remind me not to dive with any of you guys.

WaScubaDude
09-29-2007, 19:54
Alka-Seltzer, check. Cheez Whiz, check. Sunglasses, check. It's party time!

Tableleg
09-29-2007, 19:59
Put cheese whiz on your own mask and watch the fish attack it. Be prepared to clear your mask even the small ones can hit pretty hard.When I got my OW cert in Balmorhea, our DM warned us to leave the cheeze whiz at home. Apparently it's not good for the fish and park ranger people get VERY grumpy when they see people with it.

With that being said, I've got to try this one! It just sounds cool! :smiley36:

Flatliner
10-01-2007, 17:44
Omgsh...must Get Alkaseltaer...i Am About To Wet Myself

dmdoss
10-02-2007, 21:29
Put food coloring dye in your buddies wetsuit.

paintsnow
10-03-2007, 00:21
Put food coloring dye in your buddies wetsuit.

i can only guess what color
XD

OTGav
10-03-2007, 01:57
Shocked no-one has mentioned the live abord induction gag - wetty in the freezer over night (use bin bag as a container to avoid cooks wrath).

Cracking that bad boy open at 6am for the first dive of the day may cause unusual language.

Scuba Steve
10-03-2007, 02:50
Toss a dozen Alka-seltzers into your buddy's weight pockets...

Note: unwrapped works best...

I must try this one! :smiley36:

divechaplain-sara
10-03-2007, 04:11
Remind me not to dive with any of you guys.
Hear, hear!

MSilvia
10-03-2007, 09:44
The first guy who puts cheeze whiz or an open can of tuna in my pocket is going to be washing my gear with a fat lip.

That said, a convenient (and IMHO very funny) variation on the "look at the coins" gag is to use the gold foil wrapped chocolate coins. They look just like gold underwater (especially with mild narcosis), and the look on a diver's face when you unwrap a piece of his treasure and eat it on deck is priceless.

shadragon
10-03-2007, 11:59
Buddy of mine was trailing behind me at 45'. He found a cell phone on the bottom of the ocean and it was the exact same model and color as mine, right down to the belt clip. He wrote "This fell out of your BC pocket..." on his dive slate and handed it over. The first 5 seconds were :smiley19: then it was :smilie39:.

dmdoss
10-03-2007, 21:37
Put food coloring dye in your buddies wetsuit.

i can only guess what color
XD

Purple!:smiley20:

Cojrock
10-03-2007, 22:12
Dam, there is some funny stuff on this thread!

As for me the only prank i have been involved in was played on me. I was doing a 20min or so long deco stop on a 3m deep sandy bottom. This was about my 12th dive there so I was bored and after seeing a dive guide do it i decided to learn to blow bubbles rings. Simple enough with a bit of practice but after putting my reg in and clearing it after my 100th or so try i looked up to see one of my dive buddies wildly pointing over my shoulder! I looked and saw nothing. Looking back at him he was still pointing then grabs his inflater and points at that. I tilt my head again this time looking at my inflater and on it was a bloody snake! I kinda shouted (maybe screamed) so hard i nearly lost my reg and then all of a sudden the snake was gone. I look ahead and see the buddy tumbling aver with laughter and then behind me to see or dive guide holding a wooden toy snake(it had some little lead sinkers to keep it down). Honestly out of the corner of your eye it looked 100% real, they got me a good one! After the dive the buddy was saying how they were waiting ages to do it as, out of safetys sake, they wanted my reg in my mouth when they pointed out the snake. I always carry a little snake with me now in hope of sheering the love.

dludwig
10-03-2007, 22:14
I love the level of evilness that comes from this post. :smilie39:

dixintex
10-04-2007, 14:41
Y'all are unbelievably fun! My kinda friends...um...er....anenomies?

How about this...when your annoying buddy is too cheap to buy thier own defogger ("I forgot mine. Can I borrow some of yours? I'll pay you back..."), hand them a small tube of cleverly disguised tube of petroleum jelly. It doesn't come off too easily. Another thing is to convince your buddy that Preparation H is a cheap alternative to defog....get the generic brand to save money! Then let'em whip it out on the next boat dive and start using it. Laughs!!!

MSilvia
10-04-2007, 16:16
How about this...when your annoying buddy is too cheap to buy thier own defogger...
In my experience, those too cheap (or marketing resistant) to buy defogger usually use spit, which works great. That aside, petroleum jelly may not be compatible with all mask skirts, so I don't recommend using it as a joke defogger. If you trick someone into ruining their mask, they'll be justified in thinking you're not funny.

Steve Scuba
10-04-2007, 18:54
How about this...when your annoying buddy is too cheap to buy thier own defogger...
In my experience, those too cheap (or marketing resistant) to buy defogger usually use spit, which works great. That aside, petroleum jelly isn't compatable with silicone, so I don't recommend using it as a joke defogger. If you trick someone into ruining their mask, they'll be justified in thinking you're not funny.

I suppose the way to take care of this would be to just lean over and spit in their mask for them. Not really a good practical joke, but it'd look funny on television with the right straight man.

MSilvia
10-05-2007, 07:13
Not really a good practical joke, but it'd look funny on television with the right straight man.You know, if you horked up a good one and handed it back to them for a rinse, it would probably look funny in real life too. :)

Boris42
10-06-2007, 19:18
I saw one that made me roll today. There were four of us at Lake Rawlings VA today. After the last dive we're at the van getting getting out of our gear when one of the guys who was wearing a dry suit with sweats on under it. Takes off the sweat suit pants and holds them up to his buddy. One leg was wet. His buddy reaches out to feel just how wet they were when he says... Remember how I told you that when I pee in my dry suit it runs down one leg? His buddy jerks his hand back in horror! Just kidding, I have a small leak.....:smilie39:

Bring the Payne
10-07-2007, 17:51
My dive buddy thought of a pretty good one but its just awful! He suggested farting in the compressor intake when your buddy is getting his tank filled. :D

Flatliner
10-10-2007, 17:10
This one isn't a scuba joke but the dmdoss's posts reminded me of it.

When I was in college (the first time) we used to put paz easter egg pellets in the shower head. It would be REALLY funny before the big night on the town on a dive trip.

Scubastud16
10-10-2007, 17:52
Man, I'm gonna have to put some of these to use! Too funny....

Chocoholic
10-10-2007, 18:25
A little bit of cooked, cold spaghetti noodles in their wetsuit arm would freak them out. I tried it on my sister under her pillow, a long time ago, except she then put them in my coat pocket and I didn't wear that coat for a long time. :smiley11:

dludwig
10-10-2007, 18:53
These are absolutely evil. I can't wait to try them :smiley20:

datamunk
10-10-2007, 19:35
i was on a liveaboard in the tortugas, and i was really tired from the day of diving. (did 6 dives that day) so after dinner, went right to sleep at like 9 instead of hangin out.. well, to get me back, my instructor/dive partner and another friend took my wetsuit, filled with dead fish and ice, and buried into the ice box.... came out in the AM at the 10 minute call to gear up, and got really pissed cuz my suit was gone (thought it had dropped out while drivin cuz we hung them to dry) ... so, they said to check the cooler adn tehre it was under 2' of ice...

i put it in the shower to get ice off and the ocean but still when i put it on, it was NOT comfy :(


pretty damn funny tho haha

RoadRacer1978
10-10-2007, 20:19
Man, these are some great ideas. Since I lake dive, the cheese whiz sounds like a good one to use. Alka Seltzer wouldn't be too bad either. Can't wait till I take another class. These would be good ones to use on the instructors when they are not looking, but oh the paybacks would probably be horrible. On the other hand, I'd have some more ideas for the thread here....

danielh03
10-12-2007, 13:39
Buddy of mine was trailing behind me at 45'. He found a cell phone on the bottom of the ocean and it was the exact same model and color as mine, right down to the belt clip. He wrote "This fell out of your BC pocket..." on his dive slate and handed it over. The first 5 seconds were :smiley19: then it was :smilie39:.

what are the chances?

scubajane
10-17-2007, 18:40
I read about a bunch of guys that did deep dives with long surface intervals. while topside they went deep sea fishing. 1 guy never caught anything so he chose to nap on the surface intervals. they snagged something and called him out to let him have the joy of hauling in a 'big fish'. when he finally landed the 'big fish' it was a bloated raccoon!! apparently his buddies had brought the raccoon from home and kept it on ice for just the right moment. yea team!!

PhD4JC
02-01-2008, 08:20
That is no longer funny,
that is the beginning of a life threatening situation

:smiley21:


Put some chum in there Pockets when helping them in. Youll see thousands of fish just swarming and them having no idea. Also when helping them in turn off there air theyll be going down and take a breath and be freaking!

DiveSooner
02-01-2008, 09:13
Try Grape Jelly in the booties.... :smiley2:

took him days to get the stain off his foot.

btw, I have never been apart of such anticts.





Put food coloring dye in your buddies wetsuit.

i can only guess what color
XD

Purple!:smiley20:

DiveSooner
02-01-2008, 09:16
I know an instructor that will take along a bag of gummy worms on dives with newbies, reach behind a rock and pull out a worm and quickly slerp it down....

Same instructor found a small conch shell in his bc pocket when he got back from a trip.... oh yeah, the conch was still in it!

imagine the smell.

DiveSooner
02-01-2008, 09:22
between you, Dark Wolf & DivingCRNA...i'll never trust people in MO again.


My dive buddy thought of a pretty good one but its just awful! He suggested farting in the compressor intake when your buddy is getting his tank filled. :D

SarahBella
02-01-2008, 09:42
I cannot wait to take my teenagers diving this year...I am stocking up on Alka Seltzer and Tuna!

DZorn00
02-01-2008, 10:49
Put the cheese whiz in the crotch of their wetsuit. There's something they'll never forget...
There may be some that might like that!> WEIRD!

UCFKnightDiver
02-01-2008, 11:13
Man, I'm gonna have to put some of these to use! Too funny....

Not on me!!!! :)

DiveSooner
02-01-2008, 20:02
whatever.. you probally printed and laminated the thread! :smiley36:



Man, I'm gonna have to put some of these to use! Too funny....

Not on me!!!! :)

mitchy
02-02-2008, 08:02
Missed this thread first time around. Too funny. Can't wait to go diving again. What about balck shoe polish on a buddy's mask rim?

dannybot
02-02-2008, 08:33
On my last trip, I found some crab claws on the bottom. We swam up behind others in the groop and slowly shoved the claws into their periphery from the side. I'm pretty sure some of those ladies ppeed in their wet suits!

DiveSooner
02-02-2008, 09:56
A buddy swam up behind me and used a stick to poke me in the bottom, he ran it up my bathing suit... I jumped, thinking something was swimming up my pant leg, I started pulling the bathing suit off... as i turned around to see him laughing so hard that his reg fell out of his mouth.

He later found a conch shell in his bc.. after he got home 2 days later.... oh yea, the conch was still in the shell......

Zyxistal
02-02-2008, 10:55
On my last trip, I found some crab claws on the bottom. We swam up behind others in the groop and slowly shoved the claws into their periphery from the side. I'm pretty sure some of those ladies ppeed in their wet suits!

Thats a good one. It took me a minute to figure out what was 'wrong' with the picture.

Crimediver
02-02-2008, 11:35
I was doing my divemaster course and of course I was treated like an indentured servant by my instructor. After helping at a course at a quarry we had finished up and I had put away my gear and just got done taking a warm shower with my solar shower. The instructor noticed he had left a bouy tied up to a 35 foot deep platform about 200 feet from the shore. He said "Hey divemaster candidate, you need to retrieve my bouy." No one else had gear on and everyone began ragging on me.

I had no choice, but I was slightly peeved. The group I was with were a bunch of cops I worked with. I grabbed my mask, snorkel and fins and headed to the water. Someone said I needed scuba gear to untie the line as it was too deep to do it snorkeling. I told them it could be twice as deep and I would get it done. I swam out to the platform and noticed before I dove that they were watching as I prepared to dive down to untie the line.

Once I had untied the line, I noticed that each corner of the platform was held up by air filled five gallon buckets. I swam over to one and poked my snorkel into it and breathed from the bucket. After a minute or so I used anther bucket, breathing carefully so none of my bubbles escaped upwards to the surface. I slowly moved around the platform, biding my time...

Back on shore pandemonium ensued as my buddies pulled on gear to save me from certain death as I had been under too long. Finally I finally saw the posse arriving at the surface above me as I then lay limp on the platform, playing possum. I waited until almost saved, then shoved upwards to the surface, exhaling all the way up. (The air from the buckets is compressed air and at that depth would have doubled in volume on the way up)

I managed to beat the pack back to shore with the bouy and even had time to get another shower rinse and leave before they repacked their scuba gear. :smiley36:

whse56
02-02-2008, 11:55
Crimediver, that one is too good, you definetly got them.

Crimediver
02-02-2008, 12:04
Crimediver, that one is too good, you definetly got them.
Yeah, but those guys are good for paybacks!:smiley13:

DiveSooner
02-02-2008, 16:32
Crimediver, that one is too good, you definetly got them.
Yeah, but those guys are good for paybacks!:smiley13:


Good for ya. I know the feeling of being a DM candidate, a/k/a tank Bit@@, a/k/a cook Bit@@, a/k/a Beer runner Bit@@... i drew the line when the instructor wanted me to wear a hat stating the same...:smiley29:

Crimediver
02-02-2008, 17:56
I believe in paying your dues, but sometimes you gotta give it back when pushed too far. Or as Popeye used to say, " I've taken all I can stands, and I can't stands no more!"

skippy11
02-03-2008, 21:33
Good one Crimediver. So, have your buddy's got you back?

DiveSooner
02-03-2008, 22:09
Good one Crimediver. So, have your buddy's got you back?

You gotta be ready.... where are you located Skippy


I believe in paying your dues, but sometimes you gotta give it back when pushed too far. Or as Popeye used to say, " I've taken all I can stands, and I can't stands no more!"


I heard that CD!

Crimediver
02-04-2008, 06:34
Good one Crimediver. So, have your buddy's got you back?
One boy got me back pretty good. I had a seriously disgusting smell in my Tahoe that made you want to puke every time I opened the door one summer. He finally had enough mercy to tell me I might want to remove an extremely large crawdad he put under my front seat wedged up in the springs. I was definitely at his mercy!

MConnelly2
02-07-2008, 14:37
Alka-Seltzer in the octo is more fun - seeing someone scrambling to figure out the bubbles even when the tank valve is closed.

Theres always the good old sneaky turning the tank valve off - gotta be careful who you do this one with.

kroorda
02-28-2008, 14:47
not only could/would that damage someone's regulator, but it could cause physical injury to the victim. Also, if the superglue got in the reg, it could cause the valve to stay open (freeflow) stay closed (drown), or it could goof up the exhale valve - causing the diver to inhale sea water in their lungs.

There are a lot of great Practical Scuba Jokes, but things that can harm one's valuable equipment, one's valuable trip, or one's valuable life aren't funny.

Want to do something funny: Put food coloring in someone's booties before they put their booties on. When they come back from their dive, and take their booties off, their feet will be blue (or whatever colors you used). Or, if you really want to put something on the mouthpiece of someone's reg, put Ambesol on their mouthpiece. As soon as they put their reg in their mouth, their lips will turn numb. (It won't hurt them or the reg though.)

DollFin
02-29-2008, 01:27
Once I had untied the line, I noticed that each corner of the platform was held up by air filled five gallon buckets. I swam over to one and poked my snorkel into it and breathed from the bucket. After a minute or so I used anther bucket, breathing carefully so none of my bubbles escaped upwards to the surface. I slowly moved around the platform, biding my time...

:smiley36:

...and who says snorkels are useless??? LOL!!!!

Doghouse
02-29-2008, 08:05
While cheeze wiz is fun, get the freeze dried worm cubes. They are good for the fish, and they come from miles to get them. They can be stuck on anything for a short time. To last longer, put in gauze , tie with string and use a spring clip to attach. Just adjust their mask for them or clip on the inflator hose....