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gNats
11-18-2008, 12:40
DEMOCRATIC
>You have two cows.
>Your neighbor has none.
>You feel guilty for being successful.
>Barbara Streisand sings for you.
>
>
>REPUBLICAN
>You have two cows.
>Your neighbor has none.
>So?
>
>
>SOCIALIST
>You have two cows.
>The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
>You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
>
>
>COMMUNIST
>You have two cows.
>The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
>You wait in line for hours to get it.
>It is expensive and sour.
>
>
>CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows.
>You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
>
>
>BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows.
>Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk
>the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
>
>
>AMERICAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
>You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
>surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
>analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your
>stock goes up.
>
>
>BRITISH CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>They are both mad.
>
>
>FRENCH CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>You go on strike because you want three cows.
>You go to lunch and drink wine.
>Life is good.
>
>
>JAPANESE CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
>produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably
>crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
>
>
>GERMAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
>excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately
>they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
>
>
>ITALIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
>While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
>You break for lunch.
>Life is good.
>
>
>RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>You have some vodka.
>You count them and learn you have five cows.
>You have some more vodka.
>You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
>The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
>
>
>TALIBAN CORPORATION
>You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
>You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
>parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
>alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
>
>
>IRAQI CORPORATION
>You have two cows.
>They go into hiding.
>They send radio tapes of their mooing.
>
>
>POLISH CORPORATION
>You have two bulls..
>Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
>
>
>BELGIAN CORPORATION
>You have one cow.
>The cow is schizophrenic.
>Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The
>Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants
>control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in
>half. The cow dies happy.
>
>
>FLORIDA CORPORATION
>You have a black cow and a brown cow.
>Everyone votes for the best looking one.
>Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally
>vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for
>neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a
>bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best
>looking cow.
>
>
>CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
>You have millions of cows.
>They make real California cheese.
>Only five speak English.
>Most are illegal.
>Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

James1010
11-18-2008, 12:49
I agree with the Arnold statement.