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View Full Version : "75 skills every man should master"...what the..?



scubastud
12-01-2008, 18:27
I saw this link and cringed, I think all men should be aware of the tripe that is being spread around the internet.
I would say his man-card be taken away but I am certian he never had one to begin with...
I mean serious... I couldn't read all 75, I doubt any of you will either but here is the link.. don't get upset with me now... "Know Thine Enemy"

Skills for Men - Things Men Should Be Able to Do - Esquire (http://www.esquire.com/features/essential-skills-0508)

chicken
12-01-2008, 18:34
I saw that in the womens forum the one time I was lurking in there. It scared me and I promise never to look in their forum again.

Cheddarchick
12-01-2008, 18:54
wow...even as a chick I think that was dumb

mitsuguy
12-01-2008, 19:16
there are definitely better things for a guy to know than some of the junk they have...

here's a better version from Popular Mechanics: 100 Skills Every Man Should Know – DIY Advice - Popular Mechanics (http://www.popularmechanics.com/home_journal/how_to/4281414.html)

Largo
12-01-2008, 21:16
That article was not written by a man.

I offer the following in evidence thereof:

In item 1. The author writes that "he" needed a White Knight. What man would utter such a statement?

8. Not monopolize a conversation. When has a man ever monopolized a conversation?

19. Approach a woman out of his league. What man feels that any woman is out of his league?

21. Argue with a European without being xenophobic or insulting soccer. What man has enough disposable time to waste arguing with a European?

45. Break another man's grip on his wrist: Rotate arm rapidly, pull toward thumb, etc. This is what women do. The correct technique is to punch the dude in the face.

54. Break up a fight. That's crazy talk. What about all the people trying to bet? Those guys are going to be really mad.

61. Cook bacon. The author advocates cooking bacon in an oven. WRONG. Men fry bacon, in used bacon grease.

74. Know some birds. Reading that explanation made my skin crawl.


How say you?

Nemrod
12-01-2008, 22:15
That article was not written by a man.

I offer the following in evidence thereof:

In item 1. The author writes that "he" needed a White Knight. What man would utter such a statement?

8. Not monopolize a conversation. When has a man ever monopolized a conversation?

19. Approach a woman out of his league. What man feels that any woman is out of his league?

21. Argue with a European without being xenophobic or insulting soccer. What man has enough disposable time to waste arguing with a European?

45. Break another man's grip on his wrist: Rotate arm rapidly, pull toward thumb, etc. This is what women do. The correct technique is to punch the dude in the face.

54. Break up a fight. That's crazy talk. What about all the people trying to bet? Those guys are going to be really mad.

61. Cook bacon. The author advocates cooking bacon in an oven. WRONG. Men fry bacon, in used bacon grease.

74. Know some birds. Reading that explanation made my skin crawl.


How say you?

Thank you. Another would be that you are a god of fire:

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b395/JRWJR/DSCF0002.jpg

N

CFDAlden
12-02-2008, 02:06
I stopped at #3. Was there more? :smiley11:

Byte Me
12-02-2008, 07:44
This seems to be a list of things to know in order to impress people who don't know anything. "He" must live someplace where real men don't!!

scubastud
12-02-2008, 10:20
Largo I do believe you are correct.. heck! A real man does not even USE the word "xenophobic" !

BSea
12-02-2008, 10:28
there are definitely better things for a guy to know than some of the junk they have...

here's a better version from Popular Mechanics: 100 Skills Every Man Should Know – DIY Advice - Popular Mechanics (http://www.popularmechanics.com/home_journal/how_to/4281414.html)This is a much better list, and I actually read this 1.

Skred
12-02-2008, 10:38
That article was not written by a man.

I offer the following in evidence thereof:

In item 1. The author writes that "he" needed a White Knight. What man would utter such a statement?

8. Not monopolize a conversation. When has a man ever monopolized a conversation?

19. Approach a woman out of his league. What man feels that any woman is out of his league?

21. Argue with a European without being xenophobic or insulting soccer. What man has enough disposable time to waste arguing with a European?

45. Break another man's grip on his wrist: Rotate arm rapidly, pull toward thumb, etc. This is what women do. The correct technique is to punch the dude in the face.

54. Break up a fight. That's crazy talk. What about all the people trying to bet? Those guys are going to be really mad.

61. Cook bacon. The author advocates cooking bacon in an oven. WRONG. Men fry bacon, in used bacon grease.

74. Know some birds. Reading that explanation made my skin crawl.


How say you?

Can I get an AMEN for brother Largo!!!?:smiley32::smiley32::smiley32:

kjvander
12-02-2008, 10:42
yeah i like the popular mechanics list....there are only about 6 that i need to work on....the rest I'm pretty proficient in...

Merrimorte
12-02-2008, 11:13
LOL man I sure hope those things weren't meant to be taken serious on that list! Sure aint what I want.

How about a man that knows how to handle his fire arm, owns his own dive gear, strong enough to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder, owns dive gear, showers atleast every few days lol, owns his own dive gear...

yeah something like that would be good.

Largo
12-02-2008, 11:25
Largo I do believe you are correct.. heck! A real man does not even USE the word "xenophobic" !


With one possible exception: "I wasted a lot of quarters blasting space aliens in the video game Xenophobia."

MSilvia
12-02-2008, 11:26
I forgot about that... what a great game!

Skuttle
12-02-2008, 11:33
I don't get the list either, but sure got some laughs over the men's comments! :smilie39:

WaScubaDude
12-02-2008, 12:10
A few I would add:

1. Be willing to take responsibility when it is yours to take.

2. Know how to say you are sorry, and mean it.

3. Know how to sass a woman. I learned this later in life and it continues to serve me well.

On a trip to Cozumel I was snorkeling off the resort dock and headed to the exit ladder. There were two women on the steps, One said "you sure are awfully white" and the other said "you really should put on sunscreen or at least a shirt, you are blinding me." To which I replied, "It sounds like you both need a good spanking" They turned red in the face and didn't know what to say.
Later, I passed them on the walk and they said, "We are still looking for that spanking you promised."
To which I replied, "Come to room 8111 at 8pm. Oh, and don't wear any panties"
Again speachless...but big smiles. Edgey flirting is fun and usefull!

kjvander
12-02-2008, 12:51
the only thing that is wrong with the list of 75 things is there should be only 1 thing.

1. observe chuck norris....try to imitate...lol

DollFin
12-02-2008, 12:57
8. Not monopolize a conversation. When has a man ever monopolized a conversation?




Oh, they are out there, my friend!! They always seem to know where to find me! I remember when I was at a party and got "cornered" by one who went on and on for at least 20 minutes about what an "in demand" photographer he was and all the awards he'd won and blah blah blah, I'm sure I must have looked completely glazed over by that point, but Captain Oblivious sure didn't notice, never asking me any questions or even allowing me the chance to say anything! Finally, I just picked some random people who walked into the room and said "Oh there are my friends I've been waiting for, gotta go!" and walked away, went up to those people and whispered "Just pretend you know me for a few minutes". When he wandered out of ear shot, I told them why I did that. Turned out they knew him and said they didn't blame me one bit. LOL

gNats
12-02-2008, 13:03
8. Not monopolize a conversation. When has a man ever monopolized a conversation?




Oh, they are out there, my friend!! They always seem to know where to find me! I remember when I was at a party and got "cornered" by one who went on and on for at least 20 minutes about what an "in demand" photographer he was and all the awards he'd won and blah blah blah, I'm sure I must have looked completely glazed over by that point, but Captain Oblivious sure didn't notice, never asking me any questions or even allowing me the chance to say anything! Finally, I just picked some random people who walked into the room and said "Oh there are my friends I've been waiting for, gotta go!" and walked away, went up to those people and whispered "Just pretend you know me for a few minutes". When he wandered out of ear shot, I told them why I did that. Turned out they knew him and said they didn't blame me one bit. LOL

DollFin! Have you ever used any man in the room as your "SO" just to get away from someone completely unacceptable? I have put my arms around more strangers and said, "Just act like you were looking for me and I'll buy you a round".

LOL.

kjvander
12-02-2008, 13:11
8. Not monopolize a conversation. When has a man ever monopolized a conversation?




Oh, they are out there, my friend!! They always seem to know where to find me! I remember when I was at a party and got "cornered" by one who went on and on for at least 20 minutes about what an "in demand" photographer he was and all the awards he'd won and blah blah blah, I'm sure I must have looked completely glazed over by that point, but Captain Oblivious sure didn't notice, never asking me any questions or even allowing me the chance to say anything! Finally, I just picked some random people who walked into the room and said "Oh there are my friends I've been waiting for, gotta go!" and walked away, went up to those people and whispered "Just pretend you know me for a few minutes". When he wandered out of ear shot, I told them why I did that. Turned out they knew him and said they didn't blame me one bit. LOL

DollFin! Have you ever used any man in the room as your "SO" just to get away from someone completely unacceptable? I have put my arms around more strangers and said, "Just act like you were looking for me and I'll buy you a round".

LOL.

I know that when i was in college this happened a lot....i don't know how many of my friends i was "involved with", "engaged to", or otherwise just so they could get away from someone. I actually had some of my friends that went so far as to keep a ring in their pocket so that if they needed an excuse to get away....they had one...

Largo
12-02-2008, 15:13
Largo I do believe you are correct.. heck! A real man does not even USE the word "xenophobic" !


With one possible exception: "I wasted a lot of quarters blasting space aliens in the video game Xenophobia."


I thought of another instance where it would be acceptable: "Hey guys, let's check out Xenophobic, that new strip club that just opened."

DollFin
12-02-2008, 15:53
[quote=gNats;250687]

DollFin! Have you ever used any man in the room as your "SO" just to get away from someone completely unacceptable? I have put my arms around more strangers and said, "Just act like you were looking for me and I'll buy you a round".

LOL.


I've never actually done that to my recollection, although I have seen it done plenty of times. I'm not much of a "bar scene" person, so when I DO go to a bar, it's usually with friends and we can "guard" each other.

There is one funny story from many years ago. My best friend at the time and I used to go to this one restaurant/bar on a regular basis and were on friendly terms with pretty much everyone who worked there, including the owner. One night, we were there and a guy plopped himself down at our table (this was in the restaurant part, mind you, and he just sat dowm completely uninvited!). He started telling us that he was the owner and that he hoped we were enjoying ourselves yaddah yaddah yaddah. My friend and I were trying not to laugh in his face and see how much rope he was going to give himself. After a few minutes, we saw the REAL owner walk by, so we motioned him over and said "Hey Sam, we didn't know you sold the place to this guy!". Sam caught on and just looked the guy square in the face and said "Are you bothering my friends?" The guy just sort of slinked off and out the door!

divergirl
12-02-2008, 18:11
Sounds like the list was written for homosexuals.

Largo
12-02-2008, 20:13
The one that left me scratching my head, was "Know that Christopher Columbus was an SOB."

How is that a skill?

Besides, I think Columbus was quite the man's man; sailing uncharted waters, risking everything on the chance of hitting it big.

scubajane
12-02-2008, 20:59
largo you really read the whole list??? I got bored long before 37 that may be some poor soul's list but to publish it and ask/require that others follow it is just plain dumb!

Largo
12-02-2008, 21:02
It also seemed like maybe the author was a little drunk when "he" wrote it.

Largo
12-02-2008, 21:04
Oooh! Let me try!

75 Skills Every Woman Should Master.

By Emilio Largo

1. Cookin'
2. Cleanin'
3. Birthin' Babies
4. Not bustin' my chops all the time
5. Ehh, that's plenty.

DollFin
12-02-2008, 21:40
What, nothing about "not sneaking a geiger counter onto my boat"??

Largo
12-02-2008, 21:43
If I could find a dame what could remember four things, I'd marry the broad.

Shenanigan
12-02-2008, 23:01
If I could find a dame what could remember four things, I'd marry the broad.

Maybe if your "top four list" was a bit different, you might be more successful. :smiley30:

:smilie39::smilie39:

gNats
12-03-2008, 07:21
Oooh! Let me try!

75 Skills Every Woman Should Master.

By Emilio Largo

1. Cookin'
2. Cleanin'
3. Birthin' Babies
4. Not bustin' my chops all the time
5. Ehh, that's plenty.

Actually, there was a response to the Esquire magazine article in the mag called Jezebel. Jezebel came out with the 25 Things A Woman Should Learn to Do.

Pretty silly stuff.

Self-help: 25 Things All Women Should Learn To Do Already (http://jezebel.com/384196/25-skills-every-woman-should-master)

Kimusubi
12-03-2008, 09:44
I think the #2 is the most important one for men to consider. You should definitely know when someone is lying.

imasinker
12-03-2008, 19:05
So it is still ok to wear the white muscle shirt with the bacon fat stains down the front?

I didn't see that in there!

emcbride81
12-03-2008, 21:31
So it is still ok to wear the white muscle shirt with the bacon fat stains down the front?

I didn't see that in there!


dude...in a word...yes...walk proud...walk proud.

LaCroix42
12-08-2008, 10:59
I see Merrimorte beat me to the punch. I was going to ask where "Hit two skeet in two shots" and "Hit the 10 ring for half a clip" were on the list.

As to the list...I think I made it to five, perhaps six.