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hychang
01-15-2009, 17:15
This was sent to my home e-mail account by a friend. She just couldn't resist, neither could I. :smiley20:

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of 'nothing'.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. That will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

I thought I should pass this along and share with my fellow man.

Ladies, please annotate and expand with your thoughts as well as add to this list so we can be more informed. Thank you.

Mtrewyn
01-15-2009, 18:41
This is GREAT and certainly true in my house...
wife, 16 and 5yo girls.....

This needs to be required in High School or some thing, it took me a lonk time to leard it

gNats
01-15-2009, 18:47
I SOOOOO have to watch the whole whatever....

For me, is a combination of #8 and #5. This joke has been going around now for 3 years that I know of. Since then I have had to be on my toes, because my "WHATever" (said with a rolling of the eyes and a look) has been found out. I could utter that and it would slide under the male radar.

I make sure now I only pull it out now in extreme circumstances. :smiley2:

Diver Kat
01-15-2009, 19:45
Hmmmm ... I'm a 1 & 9 girl myself ... but the DH uses the 'Whatever' ALL THE TIME! (I wonder what that means!:smiley36:)

And the alternative to #9 - "Never mind" - the definition is about the same.:smiley2:

Splitlip
01-15-2009, 22:47
Uh..Kat and Nat..
This is the Man Laws Forum. :) Hello.....

Diver Kat
01-15-2009, 23:13
Uh..Kat and Nat..
This is the Man Laws Forum. :) Hello.....

Just trying to keep the balance .... you spend so much time over in Woman's World it's only right we spend some over here in the Boy's Basement! :smiley36:

Splitlip
01-15-2009, 23:32
Uh..Kat and Nat..
This is the Man Laws Forum. :) Hello.....

Just trying to keep the balance .... you spend so much time over in Woman's World it's only right we spend some over here in the Boy's Basement! :smiley36:

It is different for men though. :smiley2:

Diver Kat
01-15-2009, 23:51
Uh..Kat and Nat..
This is the Man Laws Forum. :) Hello.....

Just trying to keep the balance .... you spend so much time over in Woman's World it's only right we spend some over here in the Boy's Basement! :smiley36:

It is different for men though. :smiley2:

???? Would you like to elucidate???:smilie40:


ps .. you & Lullubelle are just so CUTE together on your new avatar!!:drankere:

Splitlip
01-16-2009, 00:08
We do as we please.

The world is our toilet.

Lulu? Oh, Xena and Herc. Right. I get it now. :bonk:

Lulubelle
01-16-2009, 05:38
I'm a #8 and #9.


.. you & Lullubelle are just so CUTE together on your new avatar!!:drankere:

Yeah, but if his right hand moves even a mm, Xena will be pulling out some of her Thai boxing moves. :fight:


We do as we please.

The world is our toilet.



Yeah, how bout bringing Mrs. Splitlip into the forum to weigh in on THAT statement....:smilie39: Only in your cyber world pal.

DMWiz
01-16-2009, 07:47
Not only is the world our toilet, but we don't put the sit down after we're done either! =)

mm_dm
01-16-2009, 07:54
the DH uses the 'Whatever' ALL THE TIME! (I wonder what that means!:smiley36:)

It just means "whatever"...remember, we're guys, simple and predictable. Really the only time we get complicated is when we'd rather be someplace else.

Face it guys- if you're arguing with a woman 1) anything you say can and will be used against you at some point in time and 2) ANYTHING she says can be signaling your impending doom. Like Clint Eastwood said in Unforgiven, "we all got it coming, kid".

gNats
01-16-2009, 08:08
Uh..Kat and Nat..
This is the Man Laws Forum. :) Hello.....

Exactly Splitlip... Are you lost? You always seem to spend so much time in the womens' forum... talking about shoes no less.

Vercingetorix
01-16-2009, 10:37
Uh..Kat and Nat..
This is the Man Laws Forum. :) Hello.....

http://forum.scubatoys.com/gallery/files/1/4/6/header_thumb.jpg (http://forum.scubatoys.com/gallery/showimage.php?i=1767&c=member&imageuser=146)


Exactly Splitlip... Are you lost? You always seem to spend so much time in the womens' forum... talking about shoes no less.Cold....that is just COLD....


Lulu? Oh, Xena and Herc. Right. I get it now.

And...SplitLip. in your avatar, is Herc about to grab Xena's right...uh...upper torso region? If so, he's gonna lose that hand.

gNats
01-16-2009, 10:53
Vercingetorix - I love your avatar. Nothing can make puppy dog eyes like a beagle!

Vercingetorix
01-16-2009, 11:06
Vercingetorix - I love your avatar. Nothing can make puppy dog eyes like a beagle!Thanks.

My strategy is no matter what stupid or idiotic thing I say on the forum, before somebody slams me, they'll look at my puppy eyes, and all is forgiven. This has worked on my wife for 17 years (shhhh...don't tell her it's all a clever ploy)

Besides, I don't need to bolster my manhood by catering to my insecurities with a mythic hero and his "girlfriend" warrior princess.<LOL>

Lulubelle
01-16-2009, 11:37
And...SplitLip. in your avatar, is Herc about to grab Xena's right...uh...upper torso region? If so, he's gonna lose that hand.

Hand, you think I will waste my kickboxing moves on a HAND?:smiley36:



Besides, I don't need to bolster my manhood by catering to my insecurities with a mythic hero and his "girlfriend" warrior princess.<LOL>

Low blow Rick, low blow...girls, if they are starting to turn on their "own", maybe our work here is done?:smilie40:

Vercingetorix
01-16-2009, 12:08
Low blow Rick, low blow...girls, if they are starting to turn on their "own", maybe our work here is done?:smilie40:
Tim...our secret strategy is working. Soon, we'll be able to fart and belch at will here.

Skred
01-16-2009, 12:52
Tim...our secret strategy is working. Soon, we'll be able to fart and belch at will here.

We were supposed to be holding back, then?:confused::anim_puke:

:spit:

Diver Kat
01-16-2009, 13:00
And...SplitLip. in your avatar, is Herc about to grab Xena's right...uh...upper torso region? If so, he's gonna lose that hand.

Hand, you think I will waste my kickboxing moves on a HAND?:smiley36:

:smilie39::smilie39::smilie39::smilie39::smilie39: :smilie39:
They'll be wrapping what's left of him in those lovely purple drapes and shipping him to Vercingetorix to put back together!! :smiley2:

Splitlip
01-16-2009, 13:22
Now,now...
You underestimate me. I can beat up any girl out there. I was taught to never lift a hand to woman however.

I can proove it too. I also have studied kick boxing and karate. During a sparring sesion, my Sensei (sp?) partnered me with a girl in her late teens. I never laid a hand on her and she won the match with a TKO.

My brother has video somewhere.

cowgirldiver
01-16-2009, 13:34
Now,now...
You underestimate me. I can beat up any girl out there. I was taught to never lift a hand to woman however.

I can proove it too. I also have studied kick boxing and karate. During a sparring sesion, my Sensei (sp?) partnered me with a girl in her late teens. I never laid a hand on her and she won the match with a TKO.

My brother has video somewhere.
Okay, you can beat up any girl out there and yet a teenage girl knocked you out......

Splitlip
01-16-2009, 14:00
Now,now...
You underestimate me. I can beat up any girl out there. I was taught to never lift a hand to woman however.

I can proove it too. I also have studied kick boxing and karate. During a sparring sesion, my Sensei (sp?) partnered me with a girl in her late teens. I never laid a hand on her and she won the match with a TKO.

My brother has video somewhere.
Okay, you can beat up any girl out there and yet a teenage girl knocked you out......

I never laid a hand on her. I was floating like a butterfly in the ring though. She was in her late teens. :) And very wirey. And fast. And strong. And only a couple inches shorter than me. When her kicks did not connect to my head, the grit from the mat would come off her feet and sting my face.

I was pretty foolish for thinking I needed to take it easy on her. We were not wearing head or torso protection although we were wearing chops and kicks. By the time I realized what I was up against, she landed a roundhouse that rang my bell.

cowgirldiver
01-16-2009, 14:14
I look forward to the video!!!

Diver Kat
01-16-2009, 14:22
Now,now...
You underestimate me. I can beat up any girl out there. I was taught to never lift a hand to woman however.

I can proove it too. I also have studied kick boxing and karate. During a sparring sesion, my Sensei (sp?) partnered me with a girl in her late teens. I never laid a hand on her and she won the match with a TKO.

My brother has video somewhere.

Hmmmm .....

#1 - have you seen Lullubelle's boots???

#2 -
:ttiuwop:

:smilie39::smilie39::smilie39:

Splitlip
01-16-2009, 14:43
In the video you will clearly see that I could have taken her, however 25 years of being taught to respect woman, kept me from striking her. Instead I serpentined around the ring while maintaining a defensive posture.

Oh, BTW, in the avatar, Herc has REMOVED his hand. That is why Xena is smiling and pulling him closer.

Diver Kat
01-16-2009, 14:57
Oh, BTW, in the avatar, Herc has REMOVED his hand. That is why Xena is smiling and pulling him closer. Looks like a headlock to me .... next he'll be flipped and lying on the floor gasping like an out of water fish! Go Lulubelle!!! :smiley32:

Splitlip
01-16-2009, 15:12
LOL. You are one of those people who see the glass as half empty I bet.

cowgirldiver
01-16-2009, 15:19
"Oh, BTW, in the avatar, Herc has REMOVED his hand. That is why Xena is smiling and pulling him closer."

Whatever.

Splitlip
01-16-2009, 15:21
"Oh, BTW, in the avatar, Herc has REMOVED his hand. That is why Xena is smiling and pulling him closer."

Whatever.

She wants him to put it back.:)

dallasdivergirl
01-16-2009, 15:50
"Oh, BTW, in the avatar, Herc has REMOVED his hand. That is why Xena is smiling and pulling him closer."

Whatever.

She wants him to put it back.:)

Some how I don't think so.

Poor Lulubelle is gone for a week and can't be here to defend herself against such silly talk.

cowgirldiver
01-16-2009, 16:14
I think Splitlip is taking advantage of the fact that she is gone...

Lulubelle
01-16-2009, 16:32
Greetings from Charlotte...I smelled some BS and thought I'd check in...


In the video you will clearly see that I could have taken her, however 25 years of being taught to respect woman, kept me from striking her. Instead I serpentined around the ring while maintaining a defensive posture.

Sounds like a defensive posture you are taking now Split,and in the video we will clearly see jack because you have not posted it. Talk is cheap.

As for you respecting women....yeah, OK... :ignore:


Looks like a headlock to me .... next he'll be flipped and lying on the floor gasping like an out of water fish! Go Lulubelle!!! :smiley32:

Rock on sister, keep the faith after I depart. It just SO happens to BE a headlock. My trainer has been teaching me how to headlock a full size dummy and flip him over my shoulder and onto his neck. He says I am a natural! And might I remind you that I am 5'10".


in the avatar, Herc has REMOVED his hand. That is why Xena is smiling and pulling him closer."

She wants him to put it back.:)

In your dreams.:icon_smile_kisses:

Lulubelle
01-16-2009, 16:33
I think Splitlip is taking advantage of the fact that she is gone...

Heh, heh, heh. You have my back CG.

Diver Kat
01-16-2009, 16:40
Greetings from Charlotte...I smelled some BS and thought I'd check in... And here I was about to go into 'Lulubelle Defense Mode' and your here!!! The Boys just can't hide from you!!! :smiley36:



Rock on sister, keep the faith after I depart. It just SO happens to BE a headlock. My trainer has been teaching me how to headlock a full size dummy and flip him over my shoulder and onto his neck. He says I am a natural! And might I remind you that I am 5'10"

I would say, sounds like Splitlip fills the 'full size dummy' criteria quite nicely!! :smiley2:

Lulubelle
01-16-2009, 16:45
Greetings from Charlotte...I smelled some BS and thought I'd check in... And here I was about to go into 'Lulubelle Defense Mode' and your here!!! The Boys just can't hide from you!!! :smiley36:



Rock on sister, keep the faith after I depart. It just SO happens to BE a headlock. My trainer has been teaching me how to headlock a full size dummy and flip him over my shoulder and onto his neck. He says I am a natural! And might I remind you that I am 5'10"

I would say, sounds like Splitlip fills the 'full size dummy' criteria quite nicely!! :smiley2:

Hello Kat...Lulubelle Defense Mode can begin tomorrow morning at about 8 as I slip into one of the sweet seats on my way to a warm place.

And yes, I think SL is a SHOE-in candidate.

Sushi time...

gNats
01-16-2009, 17:17
Personally, I always get the feeling that if a girl really did go toe to toe and eye to eye with Splitlip that he would faint from fear.

Lulu - I hope your trip is wonderful. We have your back

Diver Kat
01-16-2009, 17:35
Personally, I always get the feeling that if a girl really did go toe to toe and eye to eye with Splitlip that he would faint from fear.Ain't that the truth!!:smilie39:


Lulu - I hope your trip is wonderful. We have your back Ditto this!! We'll try not to put too many scuff marks on your boots while kicking some butts around here! :smiley2: Or we'll just have to shine them up real good before we give them back!! :smiley36:

Splitlip
01-16-2009, 19:11
I try to be witty and charming for all you girls in Mayberry, Hooterville etc.., to help you pass your time until you can be in the water. I try to add a little comic relief because I feel your pain. I lived in the MidWest for 4 years.

What is my reward?
"Meow".

Lulubelle
01-16-2009, 19:12
Personally, I always get the feeling that if a girl really did go toe to toe and eye to eye with Splitlip that he would faint from fear.Ain't that the truth!!:smilie39:


Lulu - I hope your trip is wonderful. We have your back Ditto this!! We'll try not to put too many scuff marks on your boots while kicking some butts around here! :smiley2: Or we'll just have to shine them up real good before we give them back!! :smiley36:

Why do you think he goes toe to toe with girls ONLINE?

Thanks girls and scuff away, boots look better with a little wear.

GIRL POWER,
Lulubelle

Splitlip
01-16-2009, 19:26
Hmmm....
I am beginning to sense something here as of late. I heard that "people" are talking about me off the forum. While I found it flattering, I did not believe it.

Chances are I will never meet most of you. For my part, I have no agenda.

dallasdivergirl
01-16-2009, 19:56
Hmmm....
I am beginning to sense something here as of late. I heard that "people" are talking about me off the forum. While I found it flattering, I did not believe it.

Chances are I will never meet most of you. For my part, I have no agenda.

I think the girls are just teasing with you:smiley36:

Splitlip
01-16-2009, 21:16
LOL. Just because I am paranoid, it doen't mean you girls are NOT out to get me. :)

Diver Kat
01-16-2009, 23:38
LOL. Just because I am paranoid, it doen't mean you girls are NOT out to get me. :)

How can you tell?? Did you find the 'getSplitlip.com' website we started?? :smiley2:


I try to be witty and charming for all you girls in Mayberry, Hooterville etc.., to help you pass your time until you can be in the water. I try to add a little comic relief because I feel your pain. I lived in the MidWest for 4 years.

What is my reward?
"Meow".

HOOTERVILLE???? Bet you thought you snuck that one in, and we wouldn't notice ... :smiley36:

Splitlip
01-17-2009, 07:35
I was gonna say "Bugtussle", but Hooterville seemed so much more appropriate.:)