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Vercingetorix
08-21-2007, 19:53
Talk in the public restroom, that is. My wife tells me that women will carry on extensive conversations with other women in the restroom in the other stalls. They don't know each other. They may never meet each other. Yet, any topic is up for discussion.

Men, on the other hand, will barely acknowledge the existance of another person in the restroom. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES would we talk with some guy across stalls, even if he is a friend. And forget about talking to the guy next to you at the urinals. After all is said and done...well, done at least, and we are washing our hands, at most we will ask somebody to pass the bar of soap. Any conversation...and we immediately suspect the conversationalist is gay.

Why this difference?

Note: I would post this in the "Women's Issues" sub-forum, but my recent foray into the foreign land left me scathed and scarred by their rapier-like toe-nails (each painted with dive flags). They descended on me like the Harpies of Odysseus. For any guy who dares to enter, wear full DIR-approved tech gear and be afraid...be very afraid. Here, there be dragons.

Jaymeany
08-21-2007, 19:56
I wish I knew and I wish it wasn't true but I keep that one open space between myself and the other "customer" at the urinal!

Vercingetorix
08-21-2007, 20:03
I wish I knew and I wish it wasn't true but I keep that one open space between myself and the other "customer" at the urinal!Amen, my brother. One space at all times, unless there's just nowhere else (and the sink is being used already).

Wait, what?

dmdoss
08-21-2007, 20:46
I always talk to my "member" to insure nobody will invade the one open space rule. Seems to work. :smilie39:

deepdiver47
08-21-2007, 21:13
This is precisely why we need our own manly space to discuss these issues, call it "The Men's Lounge"

And yes it is a huge sign of weakness to speak to someone if you are in a stall. It is just god awful. I had two guys that were on either side of me (3 total and I am in the middle) that were doing that and it was disturbing. I thought less of them as men and even less as co-workers to boot. And they were talking about the weather! :anim_rocket:

CompuDude
08-21-2007, 21:35
Actually, the man rule I'm familiar with is this:

In the restroom, you may only talk to someone doing the same thing as you. Eye contact should be studiously avoided, of course.

This means two men at the urinals can talk. Two men in neighboring stalls can talk. (About manly topics only, of course). Two men washing their hands can talk.

A man washing his hands must not, under any circumstances, talk to a man in the stall or using the urinal. And vice versa. You get the idea.

Thus, it's fine to continue a conversation with a buddy on the rare occasion that the call of nature hits you both at the same time. (which is a whole different discussion...)

ScubaToys Larry
08-21-2007, 21:43
Ok guys... We now have the "Man Laws" Forum. We don't have issues... we have problems! So here is a spot for you to show your testosterone!

tonka97
08-21-2007, 21:46
I wish I knew and I wish it wasn't true but I keep that one open space between myself and the other "customer" at the urinal!

During half time at a Seattle Seahawks game, and after at least 1 or 2? 'KING BEERs' (32 oz??) I really had to go.

In the rest room men were shoulder to shoulder at the porcelin urinals...not for me but I'm about to burst!

OK! I went over to a completely vacant circular urinal, and really let go.

About 1/2 way through the letting go, a man spoke over my shoulder....

"that's the hand washing circle"

there was NO way to put the brakes on! felt like I had blown an O ring.

:smiley11:

Jaymeany
08-21-2007, 21:48
Oh and you must wait until both men have "started" at the urinal before talking. Giving someone stage freight is very very rude.

dallasdivergirl
08-21-2007, 21:53
Ok guys... We now have the "Man Laws" Forum. We don't have issues... we have problems! So here is a spot for you to show your testosterone!

I don't think Rick is allowed in here. He goes to a stylist.

Rick,

you can run but you can't hide!

Harpie

3rdEye
08-21-2007, 21:56
I wish I knew and I wish it wasn't true but I keep that one open space between myself and the other "customer" at the urinal!

During half time at a Seattle Seahawks game, and after at least 1 or 2? 'KING BEERs' (32 oz??) I really had to go.

In the rest room men were shoulder to shoulder at the porcelin urinals...not for me but I'm about to burst!

OK! I went over to a completely vacant circular urinal, and really let go.

About 1/2 way through the letting go, a man spoke over my shoulder....

"that's the hand washing circle"

there was NO way to put the brakes on! felt like I had blown an O ring.

:smiley11:


dude.

Illini_Fan
08-21-2007, 21:56
Ok guys... We now have the "Man Laws" Forum. We don't have issues... we have problems! So here is a spot for you to show your testosterone!

I take an hour off to get my butt beat in MLB07 on PS3 and Larry makes a Man Law forum :smiley20::smiley20:

My hero.

quarrydiver
08-21-2007, 21:56
Easy way to tell difference between urinal and sink is the height. If you have to bend to wash your hands, rethink.

Vercingetorix
08-21-2007, 22:12
I don't think Rick is allowed in here. He goes to a stylist.

Rick,

you can run but you can't hide!

HarpieSparky,

Ya found me. Larry tried to hide me...no such luck. If I have to be found...well, I prefer it be you.
:smiley36:

cgvmer
08-21-2007, 22:16
This is why you pee in your wetsuit, no eye contact needed!!!!!and no one a can talk

dmdoss
08-21-2007, 22:48
This is why you pee in your wetsuit, no eye contact needed!!!!!and no one a can talk

:smilie39::smilie39::smilie39:

chewyjr15
08-21-2007, 22:51
i hate it when the one open space law is NOT acknowledged!

kingfish
08-22-2007, 03:12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

Jas.

JugglingMonkeys
08-22-2007, 03:14
actually this whole thing varies considerably culture to culture.

in some asian countries for example, it's quite common for the men to have discussions while squatting over the squattie, no less!

i've seen men, chatting with those around them and talking on a cell phone at the same time.

i can't do this!

Krakenn
08-22-2007, 04:54
Hmm am I in the wrong room?
This is the mens room isn't it?

Kraks

deepdiver47
08-22-2007, 07:01
Kraks are you on the fence?: You stepped into the ladies room and did the same thing here. Damm it man, show your true colors for tomorrow we ride!

Phestr
08-22-2007, 07:22
i've seen men, chatting with those around them and talking on a cell phone at the same time. i can't do this!
I'm with you. The restroom is a place of peace, of tranquility. It is here that most men go to escape the noise and hustle of everyday life. I mean, these are the same guys who had no problem the first time their girlfriend came in to pee while they were shaving.

Doghouse
08-22-2007, 09:40
I used to work in maintence, and there is no question as to why women have lines half way around the block for the rest room. That is what it is, a rest room! Lounge chairs, sofa, art on the walls and a radio. Men is tile walls an floors, clean with a fire hose!

Krakenn
08-22-2007, 09:49
Raoflmao Deep

No closets for me Pal.

When I made the post I was thinking the posts here are no different to the girls room. I then dropped over there for the first time ever and said 'Ooops Im lost" then beat it home. Only to find the big Kahuna Larry gave me a swift kick up the B/S to get out of the girls room.

Man Ive been in trouble for that since I was 12!

Besides it was Ricky Pookums that was swooning around in there with his Death by Chocolate. I though to myself what a great new Thread - First Online ST Board Relationship/Marriage.

I notice nothing was said about the girls in the boys room!

I mean bugger me Im just trying to get to my 250 Posts so I can buy the Atom 2!

Smiles

Kraks

mike_s
08-22-2007, 11:13
Talk in the public restroom, that is. My wife tells me that women will carry on extensive conversations with other women in the restroom in the other stalls. They don't know each other. They may never meet each other. Yet, any topic is up for discussion.

Men, on the other hand, will barely acknowledge the existance of another person in the restroom. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES would we talk with some guy across stalls, even if he is a friend. And forget about talking to the guy next to you at the urinals. After all is said and done...well, done at least, and we are washing our hands, at most we will ask somebody to pass the bar of soap. Any conversation...and we immediately suspect the conversationalist is gay.

Why this difference?

.


You mean this hasn't happened to you?

see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYvEmdHVhW4

yankeefan21
08-22-2007, 11:17
I took a course in Ft McCoy Wisconsin when I was in the Army and was put up in some old "temporary" barraks [circa WWII!]. Anyway, the latrine was set up with 4 toilets - two side by side and two across from each other with about 16" knee to knee - and no walls! They also had small black and white tiles in a checker patters. Needless to say, we used to joke that people could play chess against each other on the Jon but most people did their business at night - with the lights off!

rubberduck
08-22-2007, 11:33
While we're on the subject here's a little test.

http://www.drinknation.com/urinaltest.php

deepdiver47
08-22-2007, 11:41
40 out of 60, (5 and 6 were wrong for me)

kevinj1
08-22-2007, 13:21
40 out of 60, (5 and 6 were wrong for me)

I got the same results-----the last question was tricky...

BSea
08-22-2007, 14:02
I wish I knew and I wish it wasn't true but I keep that one open space between myself and the other "customer" at the urinal!

During half time at a Seattle Seahawks game, and after at least 1 or 2? 'KING BEERs' (32 oz??) I really had to go.

In the rest room men were shoulder to shoulder at the porcelin urinals...not for me but I'm about to burst!

OK! I went over to a completely vacant circular urinal, and really let go.

About 1/2 way through the letting go, a man spoke over my shoulder....

"that's the hand washing circle"

there was NO way to put the brakes on! felt like I had blown an O ring.

:smiley11:

I definely would have said I had 3 of the 32 king beers. At least then you have an excuse, not a good 1, but 1 anyway. But that's a really funny story.

kingfish
08-22-2007, 18:25
40 out of 60 for me as well.....i thought 3 of those senarios were a little too close lol
Jas.

WaterRat
08-23-2007, 12:05
Here's a good guide. Safe Havens are the best. I don't like to see, talk, hear or smell anyone while in the bathroom. My time, my space.

ESCAPEE
Definition: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee)
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine guns pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out of the Closet pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVEN
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when work taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

CRACK WHORE
Definition: A crapper that has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. Tell tale signs of a CRACK WHORE include pubes, piss stains and streaks. Avoid a CRACK WHORES at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget, a CRACK WHORE can become a SAFE HAVEN.

Ron

Vercingetorix
08-23-2007, 13:12
Besides it was Ricky Pookums that was swooning around in there with his Death by Chocolate. I though to myself what a great new Thread - First Online ST Board Relationship/Marriage.

Smiles

Kraks"Ricky Pookums"???
I got yer Ricky Pookums right here, buddy!!!:smiley36:

At least give me credit for venturing onto foreign, potentially hostile turf. Women love chocolate (there's a chemical in there that heightens pleasure sensations similar to sexual climax) Hence, I figured I was on safe ground with the Death By Chocolate. Besides, I wasn't "swooning", I was "swooping".

I've said it before to those who dare to enter: Be afraid...be very afraid, for there be dragons here.

Concerning the test: 40 of 60 for me. I go for the wall. Period.

Suther2136
02-08-2008, 20:53
So what does Chuck Norris do in the men's room...oh yea when he enters we all run to the ladies room.

Defman
02-09-2008, 09:01
While we're on the subject here's a little test.

Urinal Test - Drinknation.com (http://www.drinknation.com/urinaltest.php)



Same concept, different implementation...

GameScene Free Online Games: The Urinal Game (http://gamescene.com/The_Urinal_Game_game.html)

IrishSquid
02-09-2008, 12:33
Here's a good guide. Safe Havens are the best. I don't like to see, talk, hear or smell anyone while in the bathroom. My time, my space.

ESCAPEE

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee)

COURTESY FLUSH

WALK OF SHAME

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)

SAFE HAVEN

TURD BURGLAR

CAMO-COUGH

ASTAIRE

WATERMELON

HAVANA OMELET

UNCLE TED

FLY BY

CRACK WHORE

Ron

:smilie39: That was effin hilarious!

By the way, 50 0f 60.

hoobascooba
02-09-2008, 12:55
hah! the first time another guy tried talking to me while i was pissin, real quick, without hesitation, and not letting him finish, I told him "uh, sorry, I don't talk to other guys when I have my peter in my hand!" LoL. He laughed real hard and actually apologized to me!

I can't believe it was that funny to him. I was being serious.

pyre24
02-13-2008, 01:52
I dont like talking at all when im in there. Do my business and get out.

inwa2deep
02-14-2008, 22:15
It is only ok to talk at the urinal IF you notice someones pants are on fire or if the urinal is in immenent danger of rapid decompression thus placing all at risk... Igt is important to note that you should never have cause to sound the pants fire alarm as you should not be looking at some guys pants.... this is a by accident event only