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Chocoholic
08-26-2009, 13:36
MEN!!!!
One day, my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied.

'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE !'

And they say blondes are dumb....

----------------------------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed.

The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you........

----------------------------

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,'she replied.

-------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor!
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

---------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

------------------------------------------

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.

-------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals.'

gNats
08-26-2009, 14:31
Ok... Dang. that was funny. Thank you.

:smiley20:

ParrotheadDiver
08-26-2009, 14:32
WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chocka
08-26-2009, 14:47
:smilie39: hahaha....

bennerman
08-26-2009, 14:56
Damnit woman, now you done gone and made me mad. Make me a sam'itch, and I might forgive you!

DivingCRNA
08-26-2009, 15:11
Get your small feet close to the sick! LOL

Vercingetorix
08-26-2009, 15:13
I found this to be not amusing. Not a whit.

Who let you out of the kitchen?

ParrotheadDiver
08-26-2009, 16:13
ok boyz...git back over there in the mens forum and leave your man card on the table on the way out :smilie39:

petronius
08-26-2009, 16:25
I call BS - men don't wash sweatshirts, or suffer them to be washed...

(Also, we don't "whine", we express our feelings in an open and honest manner - exactly how women are always nagging us to do.)

:)

Cheddarchick
08-26-2009, 18:45
That's it Bennerman...I'm calling your Mommy.....

bennerman
08-26-2009, 19:16
That's it Bennerman...I'm calling your Mommy.....

Phone's next to the stove... throw a roast in while you're there.

fire diver
08-26-2009, 19:56
http://www.demotivatorblog.com/wp-content/uploads/yapb_cache/women_drivers_i_bet_the_boat_just_jumped_out_in_fr ont_of_you_demotivational_poster.d8knrwy9q3w44kcwg gcos4w08.ap2qhjyqp08cgc0c80ss4cco4.th.jpeg (http://www.demotivatorblog.com/2008/10/03/women-drivers/)

fire diver
08-26-2009, 19:59
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0904/female-valets-female-valets-traffic-accidents-crash-women-dr-demotivational-poster-1238791004.jpg

fire diver
08-26-2009, 20:02
http://jaysolomon.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/wife.jpg

Diver Kat
08-26-2009, 20:43
We can play that game just as well .. if not better!!

And Bennerman ... isn't it past your bedtime???? :smilie39:

fire diver
08-26-2009, 20:52
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2322/1534376067_ef763db0d8.jpg

bennerman
08-26-2009, 20:54
We can play that game just as well .. if not better!!

And Bennerman ... isn't it past your bedtime???? :smilie39:

Of course you can play the game better, thats because men are the only ones that do real work! You just keep playing your game :smiley2:

Splitlip
08-26-2009, 21:06
That's it Bennerman...I'm calling your Mommy.....
bwahaahaa
Chick, my checkbook is covered w/diet sprite.

oh is the the women's furum. never mind

Splitlip
08-26-2009, 21:09
That's it Bennerman...I'm calling your Mommy.....

Phone's next to the stove... throw a roast in while you're there.
B-man..have to admit, that is pretty good.

Diver Kat
08-26-2009, 21:13
That's it Bennerman...I'm calling your Mommy.....

Phone's next to the stove... throw a roast in while you're there.
B-man..have to admit, that is pretty good. TIM ... don't encourage the boy! :smiley2:

Splitlip
08-26-2009, 21:32
That's it Bennerman...I'm calling your Mommy.....

Phone's next to the stove... throw a roast in while you're there.
B-man..have to admit, that is pretty good. TIM ... don't encourage the boy! :smiley2:

I know, I know....

Chocoholic
08-27-2009, 01:11
You know if you keep wandering in to the womens forum you might not like everything you read.

bennerman
08-27-2009, 11:02
You know if you keep wandering in to the womens forum you might not like everything you read.

And if you keep wandering in the woman's forum, you might not like the fact that you can't read...

Foo2
08-27-2009, 11:16
You know if you keep wandering in to the womens forum you might not like everything you read.

And if you keep wandering in the woman's forum, you might not like the fact that you can't read...

Oh my...:smilie40: I don't think you realize who you're messing with ben. It's obvious you are very young because you must not realize just how mean women can be.

bennerman
08-27-2009, 11:44
You know if you keep wandering in to the womens forum you might not like everything you read.

And if you keep wandering in the woman's forum, you might not like the fact that you can't read...

Oh my...:smilie40: I don't think you realize who you're messing with ben. It's obvious you are very young because you must not realize just how mean women can be.

Its all in good fun... if its offending anybody, I'll stop.

fire diver
08-27-2009, 12:56
You know if you keep wandering in to the womens forum you might not like everything you read.

And if you keep wandering in the woman's forum, you might not like the fact that you can't read...

Oh my...:smilie40: I don't think you realize who you're messing with ben. It's obvious you are very young because you must not realize just how mean women can be.

Its all in good fun... if its offending anybody, I'll stop.

I doubt you're offending, but be prepared to recieved in kind. Women can be merciless. They leave me alone becuase I distract them with my sexy legs. :smiley2:

Vercingetorix
08-27-2009, 13:15
Mr Bennerman,

As one who has been married twice, with girlfriends before and in between, allow me to provide a little advice concerning the women you will meet during your life...

Be afraid...be very afraid...

bennerman
08-27-2009, 13:19
Mr Bennerman,

As one who has been married twice, with girlfriends before and in between, allow me to provide a little advice concerning the women you will meet during your life...

Be afraid...be very afraid...

I have been told that by my dad... I just thought he was nuts though. That being said, in person, I am a lot more polite (dare I say, chivalrous) to the fairer sex :smiley2:

Vercingetorix
08-27-2009, 13:25
That being said, in person, I am a lot more polite (dare I say, chivalrous) to the fairer sex Then, again, that goes without saying. You are, after all, Canadian. And we, who are "south of the border", know that ALL Canadians are polite, like Mounties.:smiley2:

Splitlip
08-27-2009, 17:29
That being said, in person, I am a lot more polite (dare I say, chivalrous) to the fairer sex Then, again, that goes without saying. You are, after all, Canadian. And we, who are "south of the border" know that ALL Canadians are polite, like Mounties.:smiley2:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e3/DoRightCast.JPG/350px-DoRightCast.JPG (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:DoRightCast.JPG)

Cheddarchick
08-27-2009, 19:38
Ah.....men.....So fun to play with...so hard to housebreak.......We can't wait until you grow up Brennerman...we won't be so kind then.

bennerman
08-27-2009, 19:41
Ah.....men.....So fun to play with...so hard to housebreak.......We can't wait until you grow up Brennerman...we won't be so kind then.

So... don't be so kind now. The harsher the insults, the more I can work with :smiley32:

caburrid
08-27-2009, 19:57
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

This one sums up my husband... I've said it once and I'll say it again, men are wimps! I still love him though.

Vercingetorix
08-27-2009, 20:25
I've said it once and I'll say it again, men are wimps! So...you're redundant, then?

This is a wimp:
http://3.bp.********.com/_bkFIPLIOGL8/SNPbYB_1oTI/AAAAAAAASAs/7vw72H8-uxM/s400/gallery_Napoleon_Dynamite_1.jpg

This is NOT a wimp:
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2009/01/Harrison%20Ford.jpg

Definately NOT A WIMP:

http://extra.listverse.com/amazon/antihero/noname.jpg

bennerman
08-27-2009, 20:50
Definately NOT A WIMP:

http://extra.listverse.com/amazon/antihero/noname.jpg

Super mad props man. Super. Mad. Props.

Diver Kat
08-27-2009, 23:45
I doubt you're offending, but be prepared to recieved in kind. Women can be merciless. They leave me alone becuase I distract them with my sexy legs. :smiley2: :smiley20: Yup ... gotta love those legs!!:smiley36: Wait ... merciless? Us?? We are all kind, gentles souls ...



that is till you mess with us, then, like Vercingetorix said - be afraid ... very afraid! :smiley7:



..

gNats
08-28-2009, 07:25
I've said it once and I'll say it again, men are wimps!

This is NOT a wimp:
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2009/01/Harrison%20Ford.jpg




I was ignoring this thread after my last post. OMG. Look what I almost missed.

+1 for V for providing nice eye candy.

Vercingetorix
08-28-2009, 10:00
I was ignoring this thread after my last post. OMG. Look what I almost missed.

+1 for V for providing nice eye candy.Harrison Ford is my wife's favorite as well. So I asked her, "Other than looks, talent, charm, fame, and fortune...what's he got that I don't?'

She was silent. Strangely silent.

ParrotheadDiver
08-28-2009, 10:14
I was ignoring this thread after my last post. OMG. Look what I almost missed.

+1 for V for providing nice eye candy.He's my wife's favorite as well. So I asked her, "Other than looks, talent, charm, fame, and fortune...what's he got that I don't?'

She was silent. Strangely silent.

:smilie39::smilie39::smilie39::smilie39:

too funny...I love your wife :smiley32:

bennerman
08-28-2009, 10:55
I was ignoring this thread after my last post. OMG. Look what I almost missed.

+1 for V for providing nice eye candy.He's my wife's favorite as well. So I asked her, "Other than looks, talent, charm, fame, and fortune...what's he got that I don't?'

She was silent. Strangely silent.

A Clint Eastwood avvy?

he3r0
08-29-2009, 20:29
I call BS - men don't wash sweatshirts, or suffer them to be washed...

(Also, we don't "whine", we express our feelings in an open and honest manner - exactly how women are always nagging us to do.)

:)

he just had the wrong shirt...

http://www.funnyhub.com/content_images/5955_2978_washing-instructions-label.jpg