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scubastud
10-18-2010, 19:57
My pop decided to stop the chemotherapy today.

I am thinking I would do the same.. I don't know, no matter it is his decision.

I love that man, and I don't know anyone on this earth that after meeting my pop didn't like him either.

TwistedSister209
10-18-2010, 19:59
What a courageous decision, SS. Your father sounds a lot like mine.
Treasure the moments you have left with him. Make memories that will last a lifetime.
Sending you all light, love and prayers. (Give your father an extra hug for me since I can't hug mine anymore.)

bennerman
10-18-2010, 20:05
Not sure what to say, but you both will be in my thoughts and prayers :)

reefrunner
10-18-2010, 20:19
you all are in my prayers for sure. By the grace of god im still cancer free had it 2001 and then it showed again in 2010. Like ya said its your fathers decision .

navyhmc
10-18-2010, 21:47
Really don't know what to say my friend. Condolences and prayers just don't seem like enough. If you need anything, let us know.

Diver Kat
10-18-2010, 23:42
This is a tough one. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for you right now, and for him. I think TS already said it best, so +1 to her heartfelt comment.

ScottW
10-19-2010, 00:05
SS I can't imagine what you're going through, let alone your father. Thoughts are with you and your family.

Godfather1138
10-19-2010, 00:17
I can relate. My Pop (mom's father) refused treatment when he was diagnosed with lung cancer (non-smoker but in his early 80's). It was really hard on all of us, but at the same time we were all more at peace with it b/c we knew he was at peace with it. Not trying to get religious on anyone, but he was a strong Christian and accepted that if his time was coming he wanted to face it head on with his chin up. We were all just glad to know he was at peace with his situation rather than struggling through treatments.

For what it's worth I will be praying for your family.

scubastud
10-19-2010, 04:56
Thanks all... I found out yesterday and .. I dunno.. just typed this here.. I guess I just needed ... well needed to. Scuba peopla are wonderful.
I am glad my brother is a MD, we get the straight dope and answers. My baby sister lost her husband recently and she has been so good with keeping records and asking the right question.
My pop lives in Michigan, I feel pretty helpless, but my older sis and my brother are staying w mom n pop and they are a godsend, I can't thank them enough for all they are doing. Lets face it, putting your life on hold to live with and care for your parents is a very selfless thing to do, and I will be forever greatful to them and all my family there. Even the sister in law that I really don't like .
I feel like I am cheating, being so far away. My wife told me last night she would move to MI with me , but what in the world would I do, no one is working in that state, and we have a kid here we just cannot uproot.
Since pop got out of the hospital and started the treatment, he has been so tired and weak, miserable. He is already in better spirits and knows the implications, he is in his right mind. Mom and pop were very active in hospice, they were trainers , now they are on recieving end. I hope he can remain home, and I think ,due to the support of my family he will be able to do so.

Thanks again for the kind words.

scubastud
10-19-2010, 04:59
I wrote this a little while back. Don't expect yall to read it, it isn't scuba related, I am posting cause I want all to know how cool my dad is.

Open letter to me Dad

Pop, I just want to let you know that the life lessons you taught me have been learned. I am just stubborn and kinda dumb,so it took all these years for it to finally sink in.
You have taught me many things, mostly by example, (as opposed to lecturing) wich of course is the way to really teach.
From you I have learned to swing a bat, a golf club and a hammer with equal enjoyment. You taught me how to read a river while paddling and that the real competition on the golf course is with one's self.
My fondest memories growing up, you were there, wether it was camping, boating,fishing,canoeing, or working in the back yard with sawdust and Ernie Harwell's voice in the air.
You have taught me what men should do and how to act. Always pay your debts and keep your word- both in business and private life. You taught me there is nothing greater a man can be than a good husband and father.
Because of you, I can say today that I am a man.

All this said, I am not finished with my lessons. I still need you to keep me moving in the right direction. I still value and require your advice. So get healed and get home,stop your lallygagging. You are needed!

Love, your favorite son (no, not Michael the other one!) http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs035.ash2/35132_1503204309231_1507946404_31266003_6902569_n. jpg (http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1503204309231&set=o.136968609660287)

scubagirlj
10-19-2010, 06:04
prayers to you SS-both my parents made that choice, a tough call to make for the whole family-but you have to respect a person's wish to control their own destiny

navyhmc
10-19-2010, 06:49
I like it SS...And, you're a diver so it's dive related-It's what we do! And I'll defend that sentiment to the end.

TJDiver
10-19-2010, 06:51
Sorry about your dad, ss. Like others' comments here, I admire his courage to live his remaining days on his terms. I know that's hard to swallow for you and your siblings, but it seems to mirror the sentiments you've expressed about him and what he has taught you in life...at least, that's what I gather from your comments about him. Wishing you and your family all the best.

buddha0724
10-19-2010, 07:00
Hey SS I admire not only his courage but your family's to support him. It would be very easy for family to push him to continue treatment for selfish reasons. You are a great son and i love the open letter you wrote to him. I wish I had the same relationship with my dad that you have with your dad.
Is it upper or lower Michigan? I am pretty close to upper Michigan if i can help at all.
I wish your father, family and you the best in this journey.
thank your father for his service too from all of us.

bennerman
10-19-2010, 12:44
Very poetic letter, SS. Very few people have such respect for their parents and are as good a son/daughter as you so clearly are (myself included). I said it once, but I fail to see the need to stop saying it, you are all in my thoughts and prayers :)

Miked
10-19-2010, 13:26
Great letter-as all things from the heart turn out to be.
Having gone through a similar situation with my Dad (God was it 10 years ago.....in some ways it seems like yesterday....), all I can say is Be sure that he knows you love him-that letter will go a long way towards giving him that message.
Thoughts and prayers for peace to you and all of your family.

want2Bdivin
10-19-2010, 18:37
Ya'll are in my prayers... There is a time for everything. Be strong, cherish the time you have now and focus on that not the inevitable. It will happen to all of us eventually. It IS a part of life. As much as you love him, he still loves you more.

PACKRMAN
10-19-2010, 19:04
SS I have total respect for your dad

He has made one of the most difficult decissions in his life so you and your family don't have to. Living life on his terms and to Hell with the rest, there's a real man. Now all you folks have to do is enjoy the time you have left and NEVER wonder if you did the right thing.

I just hope that, when the time comes, I can do as well for my family.

TwistedSister209
10-19-2010, 19:27
Great letter, SS!
Thanks for sharing.

mm2002
10-20-2010, 05:30
Awesome letter! I could really "feel" it as I read it. I wish your Dad the best, as well as you and the rest of the family.

scubastud
10-20-2010, 08:41
Hi all.

Wife said she wants to move to MI.
There is no work there, we would lose our home, uproot our kid from school and friends.. I know what my pop would do if we did that, he would order me right back to AZ, he would be so pissed at me. That's the kind of guy he is.
I cannot tell you how greatful I am for my brothers and sisters that are caring for him and mom. (Oh, mom is not well either, she has alzemiher's .. pop has been caring for her last few years before this dam cancer thing)

Your words mean so much to me. We have had differences and debates that may have led to heated arguements, but the responses I see here remind me why I come here, out of all the forums on the internet.

I love you guys.

jans
10-20-2010, 11:14
SS-Im so sorry for all that you and your family are going through.I'm sure the best thing you can do for your dad right now is to be the person he wanted you to be, a good husband and father. Talk to him as often as you can and be thankful that you have time to say all the things that are in your heart. Too often death comes suddenly and unexpectedly and loved ones are left to live with the regret of having never said those things.

want2Bdivin
10-20-2010, 12:41
KIIYP, bro. :smiley9:

Lulubelle
10-20-2010, 17:33
Been on the road this week SS and just seeing this. I am happy that your Dad has a family who supports his choice to live his life on his own terms. That is courageous. And happy that you are already hospice saavy so that your family can focus on having quality time with him. I hope you will have time to get there and visit with him and create some good memories. Hugs.

bennerman
10-20-2010, 17:38
Hi all.

Wife said she wants to move to MI.
There is no work there, we would lose our home, uproot our kid from school and friends.. I know what my pop would do if we did that, he would order me right back to AZ, he would be so pissed at me. That's the kind of guy he is.
I cannot tell you how greatful I am for my brothers and sisters that are caring for him and mom. (Oh, mom is not well either, she has alzemiher's .. pop has been caring for her last few years before this dam cancer thing)

Your words mean so much to me. We have had differences and debates that may have led to heated arguements, but the responses I see here remind me why I come here, out of all the forums on the internet.

I love you guys.

I respect you as a shouting partner too much to not offer all of the help I can ;)

FFDiver
10-20-2010, 18:00
SS, I have been away from the puter for a day or so and running behind. I am sorry for all the bad news you are carrying on your shoulders. Just know there are a great bunch of people praying for you and your family. As others have said, it takes real courage to set your own terms with your life and your dad is courageous. Please take care and let us know if we can do anything for you!!!!