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couped243
11-07-2007, 22:03
Probably been posted before but still so true!!!
Notice that they are all number 1

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports are like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something, or you can tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want the answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.:smiley35:

Bigg_Budd
11-10-2007, 09:09
I like how they are all numbered "1". Very nice.

couped243
11-10-2007, 19:02
Yeah I thought that was funny that they were all # 1. They all make sense

navyhmc
11-12-2007, 06:35
Just too durn funny!

Tableleg
11-13-2007, 12:36
:smiley36:

mcc2318
11-22-2007, 16:53
Amen brother

wheelman
11-22-2007, 18:18
good stuff...

Ohio_diver16
11-22-2007, 23:29
Amazing how mans simplicity is so obvious, yet women still, "Don't understand guys." Great post

Soonerwink
11-22-2007, 23:32
I think I will print this out and leave on my desk and see how long it takes for my wife to find it. She is asleep now and I bet I get woke up in the morning with it in her hand.

kyfriedchipper
11-23-2007, 00:16
I'll be watching for someone to post the the tenets of Tom Leykis next... :)

thagreatzadenko
03-06-2008, 19:23
dude where did you get these i gota know:smiley20:

thagreatzadenko
03-06-2008, 19:47
due where did you get these i have to know:smiley20:

EuphoriaII
03-07-2008, 14:35
#1. Dont ask us what gift we want for a special occasion. Its always the same thing and it won't cost you anything.

kml7605
03-24-2008, 21:31
Couped. Sorry to say that I will be stealing this and forwarding to the wife. We may think it's funny, but I will swear up and down to her that I got this from a socialogy web site..and it's true

mm_dm
03-25-2008, 08:58
The couch is actually quite comfortable. I'm a guy. I can sleep anywhere.

MicahEW
03-29-2008, 13:19
Nice to have some clarification. lol

jtkkym
03-29-2008, 14:32
Nice list!

NoTime58
03-30-2008, 07:54
Judging by your avatar picture you're not a carpenter but you should be.......in other words, you hit the nail on the head !!!

LaCroix42
03-30-2008, 13:15
Whenever my wife decides to throw out the "rules" t-shirt or quote my aunt ("What's mine is mine, yours is mine, and ours is mine") I like to refer back to this for her.

And I have to agree that I can, and do, sleep on my couch, floor, wherever. Ever slept in the back of a '96 Civic hatchback? I have, and I can tell you Yoga mats help keep the hips from going numb. :)

Also, Number 1 is quite true. All of them. ;)

FBH1
04-04-2008, 11:18
I do want to say that I do know what mauve is. It's a winged insect similar to a butterfly that eats clothing. lol

mentalmarine
04-04-2008, 11:31
I do want to say that I do know what mauve is. It's a winged insect similar to a butterfly that eats clothing. lol

:smiley32:

Love the man laws!

EuphoriaII
04-04-2008, 12:59
I once heard a guys wife tell him to straiten up or she would 'cut him off'. He told her 'You can't cut me off, you don't know where I'm getting it.'

Not sure how long he had the couch for that one.

JTMoney
04-04-2008, 16:59
I actually looked mauve up, didn't know it was pink. This whole time I thought I knew what it was and thought it was a brownish green. My gf laughed at me. Mauve just sounds like a brownish green, kind of like fuscia sounds like it'd be pink.

LaCroix42
04-04-2008, 22:44
I once heard a guys wife tell him to straiten up or she would 'cut him off'. He told her 'You can't cut me off, you don't know where I'm getting it.'

Not sure how long he had the couch for that one.

My response would be a bit less tactful and would have involved comments about service, among other things. Fortunately my wife and I know each other well enough to know those type threats will result in the proverbial knock down drag out fights, and we both keep them safely locked up.