View Full Version : Useful work phrases...

Anne Eastwell
11-18-2007, 15:03
Something funny to kick Monday morning off:
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message .
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

11-18-2007, 15:11
27. Would you be terribly upset if I asked you to take your silly-assed problem down the hall?

Navy OnStar
11-18-2007, 17:12
28. You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot!

11-18-2007, 19:31
its not that your wrong, your just not right....
if you had a brain you would take it out and play with it....

11-18-2007, 20:11
#28 is to funny

11-19-2007, 20:32
#29...DILLIGAC? Does It Look Like I Give A Crap?

11-19-2007, 23:46
#30 a crisis on your part does not necessarily constitute a crisis on my part.

Big Mike
11-20-2007, 10:13
I've got to quit drinking coffee when I read these posts, my poor screens can't handle the abuse :smilie39: :smilie39: :smilie39:

11-20-2007, 16:44
#31 Ahhhhh - I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.