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missnumnutz
11-22-2007, 19:19
thought i might post this here for your amusement :smilie39:

> PICK UP LINES NEVER TO USE
>
>
>
> « Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
>
>
> « Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are
> special.
>
>
> « My Love for you is like diarrohea ... I can't hold
> it in.
>
>
> « Do you have a library card, 'cause I want to check
> you out.
>
>
> « Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see
> myself in them.
>
>
> « If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in
> your hole.
>
>
> « You might not be the best looking girl here, but
> beauty is only a light switch away.
>
>
> « Man - Fat Penguin!
Woman - WHAT? Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.
>
>
> « I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make
> your bed-rock.
>
>
> « I can't find my puppy; can you help me find him? I
> think he went into this cheap motel room.
>
>
> « Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
>
>
> « If you're going to regret this in the morning, we
> can sleep until the afternoon.
>
>
> « Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think
> of it my nuts tighten up
>
>
> « If you were a McDonald's burger, I would call you
> McBeautiful....
>
>
> « I know I can't have your virginity, but can I have
> the box it came in?

marchand
11-22-2007, 21:36
>
>
>«nice legs, when do they open?

Soonerwink
11-22-2007, 21:48
Now those are some bad pickup lines.

Ohio_diver16
11-22-2007, 22:24
This one was told to my by my girlfriend, "It's a shame you have to sit on something that nice." She laughed at him, I ended up dating her... HAHA!

Bert
11-23-2007, 05:48
If I said you had a nice body would you hold it aginst me???Please...
Are you tires cause you been running trough my mind all day

Ohmdiver
11-23-2007, 12:26
I'm casting a movie, can I get your legs a part?

Bert
11-23-2007, 16:55
the word of the day is legs why don't we goto your pace and spread the word

Ohmdiver
11-23-2007, 21:06
Hi, I'm a diver, would you like to go down?

Formerly 45yroldNewbie
11-23-2007, 22:22
If you don't sleep on your stomach, can I?

navyhmc
11-23-2007, 23:29
"Divers do it deeper, can I show you?"

missnumnutz
11-26-2007, 23:53
Hi, I'm a diver, would you like to go down?


bahahahah

missnumnutz
11-26-2007, 23:53
has anybody tried any of these?? hehe u can fess up here and tell us if its worked! or any quirky lines you've dropped that have worked =P

chace_nicole
11-26-2007, 23:58
I would so laugh at the fat penguin one :smiley36:
dumb...yet cute.

Goober
11-27-2007, 17:41
So.... are you not interested, or are you just playing hard to get?:smiley32:

LI Diver
11-27-2007, 18:28
I tried the word of the day on my wife and got a whack in the head for my efforts!

Ohmdiver
11-27-2007, 20:29
I tried this once while very drunk,

Drunk me to a very cute and flirty bartender "So you know what 69 is right"

Very cute and now slightly offended bartender, "Yes"

Drunk Me "Do you know what 68 is?"

Very Cute and now "red" bartender " No what?"

Drunk Me " You do me and I'll owe you one!!"

Well, she had a good sense of humor and smiled ever so sweetly as she cracked me across the face, causing me to spill some of my beer.

The good news was she was so far out of my legue that it just didn't matter.

In my defence she started it, I just went a little too far... We eventually closed the bar and meandered off...

shadragon
11-28-2007, 10:55
Someone call heaven... I just found an angel...!



Please don't smile. I don't want to fall in love today...



Would you like breakfast tomorrow? Shall I call you or just nudge you...?

shadragon
11-28-2007, 11:01
Well, she had a good sense of humor and smiled ever so sweetly as she cracked me across the face, causing me to spill some of my beer.
You reminded me of this cute little commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7KNkS0mfgg)

No Misses
11-28-2007, 11:41
Cuanto cuesta?

LI Diver
11-28-2007, 17:44
Well, she had a good sense of humor and smiled ever so sweetly as she cracked me across the face, causing me to spill some of my beer.
You reminded me of this cute little commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7KNkS0mfgg)


That is too funny!!!!!!!!:smilie39:

Splitlip
11-28-2007, 20:39
"Your Dad must have been a thief. Because he stole the stars from heaven and put them in your eyes."

robanna
11-28-2007, 20:48
Want to get a pizza, go back to your place and F$%@?
:wait for the slap in the face:
What? You don't like pizza?

My Fav:
So, do you live around here often?

emcbride81
11-28-2007, 21:40
Do you have a mirror in your pants...because I can see myself in them!

ScubaGir1
11-29-2007, 01:38
One that was told to me was, "I wanted to show this rose how pretty you are". He then gave me a rose. It may sound cute, but it was SO corny, and I had to try really hard not to laugh. LOL

cheebaweebie
11-29-2007, 13:29
Wow.. I need to try some of these for the hell of it...

BobbyWombat
11-29-2007, 14:01
My personal fave:

"Excuse me, could you help? I seem to have dropped my Congressional Medal of Honor around here somewhere."

-> Extra points if you can name the movie this came from.

Goober
11-29-2007, 15:45
There is one that has proven useful, or it has for me. God I feel like such a scam artist sharing it:smiley9:. But I have a tendency to be really shy and everything that I want to say sounds so corny to me ,so, In a bar atmosphere I'd find the one I wanted to talk to. Wait for her to order and pay for a drink, pull a five or ten out of my pocket, walk up behind her and respectfully say " excuse me, but you dropped this" and hand her the bill. Always greeted with a smile and never rejection, it broke the ice. Then all I had to do was listen:smilie40:

Anne Eastwell
11-29-2007, 16:46
There is one that has proven useful, or it has for me. God I feel like such a scam artist sharing it:smiley9:. But I have a tendency to be really shy and everything that I want to say sounds so corny to me ,so, In a bar atmosphere I'd find the one I wanted to talk to. Wait for her to order and pay for a drink, pull a five or ten out of my pocket, walk up behind her and respectfully say " excuse me, but you dropped this" and hand her the bill. Always greeted with a smile and never rejection, it broke the ice. Then all I had to do was listen:smilie40:


Nice move!!! :smiley20:

Goober
11-29-2007, 16:57
TY:smiley9:

cole
11-29-2007, 18:30
Excuse me. Are you a working girl? No? Want a job?

jnickell
11-29-2007, 20:10
“Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?”

Goober
11-30-2007, 02:51
:smilie40:

waymarkee
12-01-2007, 10:41
How about this:

Me: "Can I buy you a drink?"
Her: "No, thanks."
Me: "Then I suppose a f**k is completely out of the question?"

(My apologies to the women who endured this when I was slobbering drunk.)

teog
12-13-2007, 14:30
Do you have any spanish in you? Would you like some.:smilie39:

Doug B
12-13-2007, 19:20
Cuanto cuesta?

some of my favorite pick up lines.....



Cuantos cuesta su hermana?

or

Tengas un esposa? No..? Quieres Chengar?



Nope... they've neve worked, but their fun.

robanna
12-20-2007, 21:44
I would eat the corn out of your sh it for one date with you.

robanna
12-20-2007, 21:45
Say good bye to your friends. We're leaving.

scubajane
12-20-2007, 22:28
I was working out at the gym, a guy said 'are you an athlete?' we carried on a conversation until he saw my wedding band. I thought it was cute until he said the lame line to another girl on the next machine. dumb. guys you need more than 1 line and don't use them where the last attempt can hear you.

Dr Freud would be so proud of me. I meant to say SAME line.

mocepts
12-21-2007, 06:20
I know this is cheesy, but it has worked when delivered correctly. After talking to a woman for a while, I would ask to see the tag on her shirt and say "Just what I thought. Made in Heaven." Usually gets a good laugh, and most females love a man who can make them laugh.

scubasavvy
12-21-2007, 12:46
Personally, I think this is pretty suave: YouTube - Coca Cola Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCElnTJ3eH0)

teog
12-21-2007, 18:29
How about the old "you must be tired, because youve been runing through my mind since Ive seen you."

divingmedic
12-22-2007, 16:24
This one actually worked once. " I am studying anatomy by braille can you help me?"

robjoubert
12-23-2007, 22:41
Personally, I think this is pretty suave: YouTube - Coca Cola Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCElnTJ3eH0)


That is quite ingenious!!!

Goober
12-24-2007, 04:54
My luck she'd be a "Pepsi" kinda girl.

teog
12-24-2007, 09:30
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

danielh03
12-24-2007, 20:58
[quote=Ohmdiver;98957]Well, she had a good sense of humor and smiled ever so sweetly as she cracked me across the face, causing me to spill some of my beer.
You reminded me of this cute little commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7KNkS0mfgg)[/quote

You know, I started to order some of that beer just so i can tell me wife to get me a beer...... well any how

teog
12-25-2007, 07:39
Do you have a BandAid? I just scrapped my knee falling for you.

Goober
12-25-2007, 15:19
You know your sister is really hot!

teog
12-25-2007, 15:49
What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Goober
12-25-2007, 18:12
Little girl want some candy?

fyrediver
12-27-2007, 09:07
"Baby, I'd love to give you the best org@sm I EVER HAD."

Goober
12-27-2007, 12:45
I've got a little itch, down there, would you mind?

tbg0519
12-28-2007, 13:08
"C'mon, you'll have a good time, your sister did"

skippy11
12-28-2007, 16:26
These are really corney, but here goes....

You no they should rearrange the alphabet, so they could put U and I closer together.

Your Dad must have been a butcher, b/c it looks like you have two hams in the back of your pants.

You look good enough to put on a plate and sop up w/ a biscuit.

Your finer than a frog hair split three ways.

I was a dinosaur in my past life....A lickalotofpuss (lick-a-lot-of-puss)
or
Whats your favorite dinosaur? Mine is Lickalotofpuss. (Ive heard both ways)

Did you hear theres a new Hawiian Island? It's called Comeon I Wanna Lei you.

that's all I can remember right now.

hoobascooba
01-03-2008, 22:05
now I don't know about you guys, maybe it wouldn't work for you, but it actually worked for me... ONCE.

"Let me see your p#$$y, I know you got it with you."

bullshark
01-06-2008, 13:32
do you believe in love at first sight or should i go back and walk by again

is it hot in here or is it just you

I lost my phone number can I have yours

I'm a pro bull rider and if you come home wit me tonight i'll show you the best 8 seconds of your life

scubajane
01-06-2008, 19:54
when you are in a chinese resturant NEVER order sum yung guy

maverick
01-06-2008, 22:15
Doctors do it cleaner, bikers do it meaner, divers do it deeper,bricklayers do it harder, but cowboys stay in the saddle a little bit longer.

bullshark
01-07-2008, 15:50
diesel mechanics have the big tools for the job

truck drivers are in it for the long haul

LaCroix42
01-12-2008, 22:36
Doctors do it cleaner, bikers do it meaner, divers do it deeper,bricklayers do it harder, but cowboys stay in the saddle a little bit longer.

Paintballers do it a hopper at a time.

And, we use the Spray and Pray methodology (ever seen the birth rates of paintballers? WOW!)

But then, we do it in teams too.

Crimediver
01-13-2008, 05:45
My favorite is" How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled, over easy, or fertilized?"

LCFrigon
01-13-2008, 19:42
Have to say so far my two favorites are : "I know I can't have your virginity, but how about the box it came in?" and Excuse me, does this napkin smell like Chloroform?"

Couple to add:

"May I borrow a quarter? I want to go phone home and tell them I just met the future Mrs ............(<-- insert name)

(Show Driver's License) "I'm an organ Donner. Do you need one?"

"I'm not rich. I am not romantic. I don't drive a fast car. I am not famous or even in great shape. I live with in parent's basement, and I love...repeat love playing video games. What I don't sound like your ideal man? Well baby...your ass isn't getting any smaller, your tits any perkier, and the wrinkles around your eyes any smoother. Soon the cellulite will kick in, the belly will sag even more and your hair will lose color and luster. But hey...with me...you'll always be a 9 or 10..just depends on how many beers I have left in the fridge!!!

DollFin
01-14-2008, 20:43
There's a song on one of Weird Al Yankovic's albums that's made up entirely of bad pick up lines. It's hysterical!

Wanna B Ur Lovr

I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph (http://javascript<b></b>:{}), no doubt
Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostrils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed girl
So I could see you twice

Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear
I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo
If I just cut off your arms
What I'm tryin' to say is...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love
Do you believe in love at first sight
Or should I walk by again?
My love for you's like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in
Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise in the dryer
You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet
Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love
I wanna be your Krakatoa (http://javascript<b></b>:{})
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too
I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Uh huh
I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?
There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"
To describe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"
My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face
Well, how'd you get through security?
'Cause baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my mom
Because I...
I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love
Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love

mm_dm
01-15-2008, 07:29
Hard to pick a favorite out of that group, but...

"I'd like to take you home right now
so you can meet my mom..."

Now there's a great way to say "Runnnnn!"

missnumnutz
01-15-2008, 20:00
I would eat the corn out of your sh it for one date with you.
:smiley11::smilie39:

DiveSooner
01-16-2008, 07:37
Can I drink your bath water?

DiveCaptain
01-22-2008, 22:32
Want to go back to my place and practice making babies?

Black-Gorrilla
01-22-2008, 22:49
Can I drink your bath water?

:smilie40:
please let me know when you're gonna try this out... so i can grab some popcorn and watch.
i'd love to see someones reaction to that!

irjarrad
02-01-2008, 18:10
That dress looks very becoming on you, but then again if i was wrapped that tightly around you, i'd be coming too

chinacat46
02-01-2008, 18:21
You don't look 40. But I bet you did when you were.

Super-Duper Scubasteve
02-01-2008, 19:37
If you were a laser, you'd be set on stunning.

hoobascooba
02-06-2008, 16:55
Does it help to know that I can't get you pregnant?

yeah, don't use that one.

reeldive
02-06-2008, 18:12
I just want to be your bicycle seat!
Barefoot Man Band

Formerly 45yroldNewbie
02-07-2008, 07:24
?: Can I smell your panties?

A: No! What the hell?

"Oh then it must be your feet!!"

fire diver
02-07-2008, 11:37
A local radio station has a number that girls give to guys who try to pick them up at bars. The Messages are awesome! I can't belive this one wasn't listed above...

"I guess you're not home, so you be working at Subway 'cause you've made me a foot long."

FD