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View Full Version : The Oil Field Explained... A Few Good Men Style



MagnaBoxer
01-01-2008, 00:40
Those of you familiar with the oilfield might get a laugh out of this...



Operations: "You want answers?"
Accounting: "I think we are entitled to them!"
Operations: "You want answers?!"
Accounting: "I want the truth!"
Operations: "You can't handle the truth!!!" "Son, we live in a world that requires revenue. And that revenue must be brought in by people with elite skills. Who's going to find it? You? You, Mr. Accountant? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.
You scoff at operations and you curse our lucrative incentives. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that while the cost of business results are excessive, it drives in revenue. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don't want to know the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at staff meetings ... you want me on that well. You NEED me on that well!
We use words like drilling, wellbore, fracture stimulation, lease automatic custody transfer, pumping unit and flow rate. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent building something. You use them as a punch line!
I have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of revenue I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you contract a drilling rig and drill some wells. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"

Accounting: "Did you expense the lap dances?"
Operations: "I did the job I was hired to do."
Accounting: "Did you expense the lap dances!?"
Operations: "You're damn right I did!"

Defman
01-01-2008, 07:58
Nice!! I wish I had the energy to convert that to hammers & nails!!

hychang
01-02-2008, 13:23
Too funny :smilie39::smilie39::smilie39:!

georoc01
01-02-2008, 16:04
While I was in Australia, I found a book in the Sydney Airport that should be a must read for anyone who has worked in the oilpatch. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Its called "Don't tell mum I work on the rigs, She thinks I'm a piano player in a whorehouse" by Paul Carter

MagnaBoxer
01-03-2008, 04:43
While I was in Australia, I found a book in the Sydney Airport that should be a must read for anyone who has worked in the oilpatch. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Its called "Don't tell mum I work on the rigs, She thinks I'm a piano player in a whorehouse" by Paul Carter

Even the title sounds like a riot. It would be a strange world indeed where mum would think the latter was the lesser of two evils. They say "laughter is the best medicine" and I tend to agree. I'll be sure to pick it up if I see it. Thanks for the heads up.

OilfieldTrash
03-05-2008, 16:44
Accounting: "Did you expense the lap dances!?"
Operations: "You're damn right I did!"


Lap dances and diving are about the only two things I haven't been able to figure out how to expense...yet

NucMed Man
03-06-2008, 12:26
Try "Donation to Performing Arts" and "Stress Reduction Class/Therapy":smilie39:

georoc01
04-03-2008, 08:22
While I was in Australia, I found a book in the Sydney Airport that should be a must read for anyone who has worked in the oilpatch. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Its called "Don't tell mum I work on the rigs, She thinks I'm a piano player in a whorehouse" by Paul Carter

Even the title sounds like a riot. It would be a strange world indeed where mum would think the latter was the lesser of two evils. They say "laughter is the best medicine" and I tend to agree. I'll be sure to pick it up if I see it. Thanks for the heads up.

I think because of the risk of death. How many piano players get killed or maimed every year? Working a drilling rig has a history of being a very dangerous place to be.

JohnsIsland
04-04-2008, 19:13
While I was in Australia, I found a book in the Sydney Airport that should be a must read for anyone who has worked in the oilpatch. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Its called "Don't tell mum I work on the rigs, She thinks I'm a piano player in a whorehouse" by Paul Carter

Kind of like when I go jump out of planes, and tell Mom I was at a bordello. She is much happier than if I told here where I really was. :smilie39:

J

mike_s
04-05-2008, 22:08
Nice!! I wish I had the energy to convert that to hammers & nails!!

How's this for hammers and nails?

YouTube - Hammer Juggling King! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddsbtAD7a28)

mentalmarine
04-06-2008, 00:13
That was awesome, did you come up with that or find it somewhere else?
That is a great movie as well. Has anyone ever played a joke on someone using the soundboard for that movie? I love messing with those movie soundboards online.