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WAHMof2
02-24-2008, 17:55
HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER

You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one.......

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian
and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered,
"I know what you must be thinking, but I assure
you Jennifer and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:
_________________________________________________

Dear Mom,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Brian
_____________________________________________

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
_____________________________________________

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom
______________________________________________

LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

Suther2136
02-24-2008, 18:15
Nice!

carriersanders
03-08-2008, 14:36
:smiley36:That is hilarious!!!

newways
03-08-2008, 22:59
Very good...

divergirl
03-15-2008, 21:33
haha my mum said she's going to use this on me one day haha :P

FyVe
03-15-2008, 21:46
thats funny.
now im going back to the man place.

navyhmc
03-15-2008, 22:06
Reminds me of this joke:

A young man is about to go away to college and just before he drives off, his parents give him a new bible. He promises to read it daily.

Throughout his first semester, he writes home asking if they can send him some money. All they write back with is various scriptures (John 3:11, Isiah 1:18, etc)

He writes back that he is indeed reading the bibile but still needs some money. All he gets back is more scritpure readings.

Finally when he returns home for a visit, he asks why they wouldn't send him money. They ask why he didn't read the bible. When he says he was, they inform him that they had placed $20 bills in the bible on every page that had a scripture they recommended he readf.

WAHMof2
03-16-2008, 10:54
Reminds me of this joke:

A young man is about to go away to college and just before he drives off, his parents give him a new bible. He promises to read it daily.

Throughout his first semester, he writes home asking if they can send him some money. All they write back with is various scriptures (John 3:11, Isiah 1:18, etc)

He writes back that he is indeed reading the bibile but still needs some money. All he gets back is more scritpure readings.

Finally when he returns home for a visit, he asks why they wouldn't send him money. They ask why he didn't read the bible. When he says he was, they inform him that they had placed $20 bills in the bible on every page that had a scripture they recommended he readf.


No that's good!! :smiley32:

doczerothree
03-16-2008, 12:24
really funny, keep em' coming:smiley20:


HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER

You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one.......

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian
and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered,
"I know what you must be thinking, but I assure
you Jennifer and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:
_________________________________________________

Dear Mom,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Brian
_____________________________________________

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
_____________________________________________

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom
______________________________________________

LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

GoldHillDave
04-13-2008, 01:36
A little girl is riding in the car one day. Out of the blue she asks "Mommy, how old are you?" "That's something you never ask a lady." replies Mom, "It's not polite and I'm not going to tell you."

A little while later the girl asks "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" "Honey, that's another thing you never ask a lady, it could easily embarrass her," answers her Mother. "I'm not going to say."

Shortly after, the girl asks "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get divorced?" "That's a very painful subject," her mom says somewhat crossly. "I don't want to talk about it!"

Next day the little girl is talking with her friend at school, and lamenting her mom's secretiveness. "She won't tell me anything!" the girl whines. "It's easy to find out," her friend tells her, "just wait till she's taking a shower, open her purse and look at her drivers' license."

Next day in the car the little girls says "Mommy, I know how old you are--35" "How did you know that?" the mother asks. "And I know how much you weigh, 135." "How in the world did you figure that out?" the woman asks, more incredulous now. "And I know why you and Daddy got divorced." finishes the little girl. "You got an F in Sex."

Beaucoupfishies
04-13-2008, 08:57
A little girl is riding in the car one day. Out of the blue she asks "Mommy, how old are you?" "That's something you never ask a lady." replies Mom, "It's not polite and I'm not going to tell you."

A little while later the girl asks "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" "Honey, that's another thing you never ask a lady, it could easily embarrass her," answers her Mother. "I'm not going to say."

Shortly after, the girl asks "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get divorced?" "That's a very painful subject," her mom says somewhat crossly. "I don't want to talk about it!"

Next day the little girl is talking with her friend at school, and lamenting her mom's secretiveness. "She won't tell me anything!" the girl whines. "It's easy to find out," her friend tells her, "just wait till she's taking a shower, open her purse and look at her drivers' license."

Next day in the car the little girls says "Mommy, I know how old you are--35" "How did you know that?" the mother asks. "And I know how much you weigh, 135." "How in the world did you figure that out?" the woman asks, more incredulous now. "And I know why you and Daddy got divorced." finishes the little girl. "You got an F in Sex."

Further proof that you should talk to your kids about everything before they find it out elsewhere! :smiley36:

Penguino
04-13-2008, 21:31
A little girl is riding in the car one day. Out of the blue she asks "Mommy, how old are you?" "That's something you never ask a lady." replies Mom, "It's not polite and I'm not going to tell you."

A little while later the girl asks "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" "Honey, that's another thing you never ask a lady, it could easily embarrass her," answers her Mother. "I'm not going to say."

Shortly after, the girl asks "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get divorced?" "That's a very painful subject," her mom says somewhat crossly. "I don't want to talk about it!"

Next day the little girl is talking with her friend at school, and lamenting her mom's secretiveness. "She won't tell me anything!" the girl whines. "It's easy to find out," her friend tells her, "just wait till she's taking a shower, open her purse and look at her drivers' license."

Next day in the car the little girls says "Mommy, I know how old you are--35" "How did you know that?" the mother asks. "And I know how much you weigh, 135." "How in the world did you figure that out?" the woman asks, more incredulous now. "And I know why you and Daddy got divorced." finishes the little girl. "You got an F in Sex."

That's the best I've heard in a while. Nice.