Top 10 Things to Say to Avoid Being Buddied-up with Someone

[DevilDiver]

Top 10 Things to Say to Avoid Being Buddied-up with Someone


1) "Wow, that's amazing! Lose one buddy and the divemaster just hands over a free replacement!"

2) "Certification? Didn't that come with the wetsuit rental?"

3) "Don't worry about my mouth sores, we probably won't have to share air anyway."

4) "Hey, I'll bet I've spent more time in a recompression chamber than you have!"

5) "Yeah, I've been working on my air consumption. Now I can stay at 40 feet for 10 minutes!"

6) "The bends aren't that bad! My regular buddy should be out of the hospital anytime now."

7) "I'm really surprised the doctors will still let me dive after my last stroke."

8) "My last dive was a year ago ... in my neighbor's back yard pool."

9) "Dammit! I've spilled fish-blood all over my wetsuit."

10) "Damn, I forgot my corrective lenses. Can you point me to the water?"

[ScubaToys Larry]

11. I just drank a bunch of water so if you get cold, let me know and I can pee in your suit for you.

12. No, I didn't take all those classes... they sell the patches on Ebay.

13. Can you help me hook my respirator up to the oxygen tank while I get my flippers and goggles?

[creggur]

14. "So, uhhh, how do you know which flipper goes on which foot?"

15. "So do you ever just hold down your inflator button to see how fast you can get back up to the boat?"

16. "I think somethings wrong with my computer, on my last three dives the thing just locked up, so I don't use it anymore..."

17. "Be sure when you surface after the dive you wave your hands and yell to the DM, they appreciate you letting them know you're ok.."

18. "Let's play a game and see who can hold their breath the longest during our ascent.."

19. "I see some people carry two respirators, not me. Don't worry though, if you run out of air you can use mine, I'll just hold my breath till we get back up.."

20. "My ears kill me when I dive...I see people pinching their noses, but all that does for me is make my nose hurt.."

[Capt Hook]

21. My last buddy didn't surface, can't figure out why!

[awap]

Why do you have 2 of those things you breath from?

[ScubaToys Larry]

No... I don't take computers on the dive, I use one for the first dive, one for the second, etc. That way I don't have to tie them off to the safety stop tank to stop them from locking up.


(Scary thing is... I had a guy on a boat I was on who really did that!)

[ian]

On a boat of Catalina (Southern California):

Holy Cow! This water's a LOT colder than the water on my last dive at the Great Barrier Reef two years ago!

Don't worry about all that sea weed. I bought a "Crocodile Dundee" knife when I was in Australia! Got somthing you need cutting?

[Zenagirl]

"Will you hand me my camera and strobes?"

[Capt Hook]

Originally Posted by Zenagirl

"Will you hand me my camera and strobes?"

That's the best one!

[DevilDiver]

22. "Nice bottom... uh, time."

23. "Nice D-cups.. uh, Rings."

24. "You sure look sexy in rubber."