Bad day??

[Anne Eastwell]

You think YOU'RE having a bad day???

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died
in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m.,
regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had
something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve
the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m.
sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to
investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m.,
all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside
the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon
was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer
books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00 a.m., Pookie Johnson, the part-
time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life
support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Still having a bad day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the
Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00.
At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
saved animals were being released back into the wild
amid cheers and applause from onlookers.
A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a bad day???

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen
shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy,
with some kind of wire running from his waist towards
the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from
the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy
plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.

Up to that moment, he had been happily listening
to his MP3.


Are ya O.K. now?? - No???

Two animal rights defenders were protesting
the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse
in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs
broke loose and escaped through a broken fence,
stampeding madly.
The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What????? STILL having a bad day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage
on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender"
stamped on it.

Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was
blown to bits.


There now, that make ya feel better????

[Scuba Steve]

Wow...my day just go better. Now that I think of it, tomorrow is also Friday!!! Yay!!!

[kingfish]

hehe......... its Friday here already!!

Jas.

[kyfriedchipper]

I needed that - thanks

[cfw218]

Those were great! I just had to cancel a dive trip to the beach due to weather, and was feeling really sorry for myself!
It doesn't seem so bad now.

[gibson1525]

Originally Posted by Anne Eastwell

You think YOU'RE having a bad day???


The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the
Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00.
At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
saved animals were being released back into the wild
amid cheers and applause from onlookers.
A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

that's hilarious

[RoadRacer1978]

Originally Posted by Anne Eastwell

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage
on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender"
stamped on it.

Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was
blown to bits.


There now, that make ya feel better????

That one did make me feel better. Now that is justice.

[ScubaJenn81]

That is funny. Anything that can help me get though my 16 hour work days.

[Silverlode]

One week later... and on Friday here...
THANKS Anne. Those put a smile on my face after a long tiring day.

[DUnder]

This one has been around for awhile but is still funny.

Tom is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers out of Louisiana and performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She sent it to Laugh line and won the contest (he wasn't thrilled with her for that one). Anyway...anytime you think you have had a bad day at the office, remember this guy.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of **** sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. This is even worse than the poison ivy you once had under a cast. Now I had that hose down my back. I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't get stuck to my back. My ass crack was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he along with 5 other divers were laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could come to the surface for my dry chamber decompression. I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet. My suit and gear were tied to the bell. When I got on board the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to shove it "up my ass" when I get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't **** for two days because my asshole was swollen shut. I later found out that this could easily have been prevented if the suction hose was placed on the leeward side of the ship.
Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me. Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to shove a jellyfish up your ass. I hope you have no bad days at the office. But if you do, I hope this will make them more tolerable. Take care, and I hope to hear from you soon.
Love you, Tom