Does anyone else feel sorry for Jabba the Hut?

[Largo]

You know, this has been bugging me since 4th grade when I saw the George Lucas "Snuff Film" titled, Star Wars, Episode Six: Return of the Jedi. For those of you who haven't seen it, (and I hope that is most of you); The basic plot is that some chick in a bikini strangles an unfortunate overweight pawn-broker, because her boyfriend was in debt to him.

So, this guy Hans Olo falsifies his credit worthiness, and borrows a ton of money to buy a ship (a Molybdenum Falcon) from his crony Lando. The pawn-broker, Jabba, after investing much time and resources, successfully finds the guy who owes him money and instead of turning him over to the courts, allows him to work off his debt in carbonite. (There is not a lot of work to be done when you are in carbonite, so he's really doing Hans a solid).

But instead of 1) paying his debt, or 2) working it off, Hans gets his girl to "off" his debtor.

I know this seems like a pointless tirade, but please, Parents; Do not let your children watch this movie.

[Bert]

This could be a metaphor for today economy Hans= the banks that are "too big to fail" bikini girl= US government strangling the sheeple aka Jaba the hut. There for parent nay the edicuator of this country MUST force every student to watch this film and learn from it. The moral of the story give the government enough rope and it will strangle you.

[Beefcake]

Dude, you are way behind the times. Thanks to South Park season 2, it is now common knowledge that Jabba the Hut is really Sally Struthers and she just looks like that because she ate all of the food that she was supposed to give to all of the starving kids in Africa. It's really hard to feel sorry for someone that steals food from Starvin' Marvin.

[Largo]

I think that Sally Struthers is totally hot.

[DOWNDEEP73]

Do you know why sharks would never attack Sally Struthers?

[Largo]

I don't know. Why?

[DOWNDEEP73]

Originally Posted by Largo

I don't know. Why?

They think she is whale crap floating around.

[Beefcake]

Originally Posted by Largo

I think that Sally Struthers is totally hot.

You've dropped your standards from Domino to Sally Struthers? Very sad. Heck, you might as well just flush the blue pills down the toilet.

[Largo]

Domino is a back-stabber. Literally.

Well, actually, she is a back-spear-gunner.

I totally should have dated Fiona Volpe instead.

She was the bomb-diggidy.

[BubblesMcCoy]

You guys are basing this discussion on some false assumptions. Jabba didn't forego the court system. Bobba Fet is obviously is obviously Hut's general counsel and personal attorney. The facts all line up:
1. Bobba Fet flies around in the galactic equivalent of a two door lambo with weapons that even the Imperials don' have.
2. He's got a planet full of kids and doesn't pay a dime in child support.
3. He's the only character in any of the movies with a tan (not sure you can count chewie) which shows he spends many a day in the carribbean tending to Jaba's offshore accounts.
4. He dies a gruesome and pointless death which really does nothing in terms of the story line (the lawyer always dies, it's some sick movie rule).

So there you have it, Jabba wasn't trying to kill Solo, just trying to serve the deadbeat. Had to put him in carbonite, how else are you going to get him to show up for trial. Guy's probably judgment proof anyway.