BEER Quotations

[TopSully]

While attending the beer festival Arthur Guinness of Guinness beer fame strode into the bar with Pete Coors and August A. Busch.
Pete says "Bartender give me a Coors"
August says "Bartender give me Bud"
"Bartender, I'll have a Coke."
Pete says "Hey Art, not having a Guinness?"
Arthur says "Well if you guys aren't drinking beer I won't"

[scubastud]

What did the Irishman say when a fly landed into his glass of Guinness?

"SPT IT OUT DAMN YOU!"

[TopSully]

Originally Posted by scubastud

What did the Irishman say when a fly landed into his glass of Guinness?

"SPT IT OUT DAMN YOU!"

Of course, everyone knows a fly won't appreciate good beer.

[No Misses]

Well, I was looking for a specific one. But when I searched for it, I found all of these fine Norm Perterson quotes.

Can I draw you a beer, Norm ?"
"No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."

"How's a beer sound, Norm?"
"I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."

"What's shaking, Norm?"
"All four cheeks and a couple of chins."

"What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?"
"Going Down?"

"What's new, Normie?"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer."

"What'll it be, Normie?"
"Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel."

"What would you say to a beer, Normie?"
"Daddy wuvs you."

"What'd you like, Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."

"What'll you have, Normie?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."
"Looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."

"What'd you say, Norm?"
"Any cheap, tawdry thing that will get me a beer."

"What would you say to a beer, Norm?"
"Hiya, sailor. New in town?"

(Coming in from the rain)
"Evening everybody."
Everybody: "Norm!"
"Still pouring, Norm?"
"That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing."

"Whaddya say, Norm?"
"Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink."

"Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."

"Would you like a beer Mr.. Peterson?"
"No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass."

"How's life treating you?"
"It's not, Sammy, but you can."

"What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."


"Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."

"Beer, Norm?"
"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"

"Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?"
"Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?"

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"Another layer for the winter, Wood."

"Whatcha up to, Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."

"How's life treating you, Norm?"
"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."

"Women. Can't live with 'em ... pass the beer nuts."

"What's going down, Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."

"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."

"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.

"What's the story, Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

"How's about a beer, Norm?"
"That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"The question is, `what's going 'in' Mr. Peterson?" A beer, please, Woody."

"Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?" "No, for stupid questions."

[Splitlip]

Another beer song

YouTube - THE ULTIMATE DRUNK PEOPLE COMPILATION VIDEO EVER!!!

[Glub000]

Originally Posted by Splitlip

Another beer song

YouTube - THE ULTIMATE DRUNK PEOPLE COMPILATION VIDEO EVER!!!

Been there, got the scar to prove it.

[db83]

Originally Posted by Splitlip

Another beer song

YouTube - THE ULTIMATE DRUNK PEOPLE COMPILATION VIDEO EVER!!!

People falling face first is funny.
This rivals Plank-in-the-face on Wipeout.

[Tekdivr]

Originally Posted by db83

People falling face first is funny.
This rivals Plank-in-the-face on Wipeout.

That was awesone SL! I really enjoyed the guy, in the field, who kept picking up speed until he wiped out!!

[boates]

can;t remember the country singer, not my forte, but, this cracked me up

"Never been to bed with an ugly woman, but I've sure woken up with a few" drinking song


He also sang, "I ain't sitting up with the dead no more, since the dead started sitting up with me" at home wake song

[TJDiver]

Originally Posted by boates

can;t remember the country singer, not my forte, but, this cracked me up

"Never been to bed with an ugly woman, but I've sure woken up with a few" drinking song


He also sang, "I ain't sitting up with the dead no more, since the dead started sitting up with me" at home wake song

I think that one's used in a couple of songs, but the one I like is Kenny Chesney's "Ten With A Two". The chorus in that song is, "Last night I came in at 2 with a 10, but at 10 I woke up with a 2."