When Is She Too Old To Be A Stripper?

[Splitlip]

Originally Posted by loadcp

I was in a strip club outside Ft Benning GA. We had to find a club that would let someone (me) in that was under 21. We found a winner. One girl was covered with bandaides and bruises and track marks. One BIG stripper punched my Flight Engineer for not giving her any money.

Now to the question...I dont so much think there is an age, but in any case...don't be in there when the lights come on...the hottest girls in blacklights looks like their asses went through the worlds worst hail storm when the white lights come on. LEAVE AT LAST CALL!!! That is unless you are at the Cotton Club in St Johns Newfoundland...stick around there because they are ALL quality!

Only thing worse than bruises and open sores on a stripper is biting into a hot dog and finding a vein in it.

[GFD113]

Originally Posted by IrishSquid

That's what happened to me when I witnessed an old broad dancing and the lights did NOTHING to hide the excess 50 lbs. of cellulite.

Did she look like someone beat the back of her leggs with a bag of nickels?

[tonka97]

Originally Posted by divingmedic

And how much you have had to drink!

There is a strip club in a city I worked in 3 years ago. There was a one arm stripper in there. Of course this was not a very nice strip club. Made lot's of shootings and stabbing there.

Why is having one arm an issue?

People are people.

[scubastud]

last time i went to a strip club (yesterday afternoon) there was a woman there that looked like her face caught on fire and she tried to put it out with an ice pick.

[divingmedic]

Originally Posted by tonka97

Why is having one arm an issue?

People are people.

It was not an issue. This was/is a very low class joint. Hence shootings, stabbings, overdoses. Was kinda strange patching up a stabbing victim and the dancers are still on stage dancing.

[IrishSquid]

Originally Posted by GFD113

Did she look like someone beat the back of her leggs with a bag of nickels?

You been there too, eh?

[Glub000]

Originally Posted by Splitlip

I met a blind prostitute in Vegas. You've got to hand it to her.

WOW just WOW.

If they hit her knees the same time your chin hits the floor she is too old.

[Spiderboenz]

36 is too old to be a stripper.

[BubblesMcCoy]

A buddy and I were in Frankfurt Germany and found this little nudie bar off the beaten path and well away from the base and the real touristy places in town. The place is small, but seedy enough that we figured it would be interesting. Immediately we noticed that the place was darker than most, but again we figured this only raised the novelty value. In front of the stage was a line of booths in which only half the booth was facing the stage. The place was empty so my buddy and I took two booths so we could both enjoy the view.

We could see a woman dancing but it was dark and the fog machines were really pumping it out. The dancer turns, saunters over to the counter where the dj booth is, turns the music off and then comes up to my buddy and I. We thought we were getting special treatment since after all we were the only people in the joint. Instead, the dance turns out to be some haggard old frau who's at least sixty who chews us out, in German, for taking up too many booths. We consolidate as ordered and the old bimbo pulls a cigarette out of her g-string, lights up and walks off the stage.

I know what you're thinking, but the place was dark, foggy, and yes we'd been drinking. But, looking back, I'm pretty sure this woman had stripped for the Furher if not most of the third reich during her career. Too old? Yeah probably, but aint history grand.

[Ohio_diver16]

Originally Posted by navyhmc

I'll go out of my conservative character for a minute and say you're too old to be a stripper when instead of cheers, you hear retching!.

In EMS, I have the unenviable position of having been in every strip club in our county at least twice-some more than that. And what passes for "Hot" is definitely out of sync with what I would define it as. If you ever meet me, ask me about the one that made me all but run into the night screaming "My eyes, my eyes OMG, my eyes!!!!"

Likewise, I've done work for um, shall we say... "Government authorities supervising the investigation of the recently murdered" I've been to some strip clubs where you walk in, and the scene of the strippers is worse than the scene of the investigation. Before you ask, no, I can't give specifics. All I can say is that lighting plays a MAJOR factor! Like did you know that black lights actually cover track marks? And red lights actually hide stretch marks? Think about it the next time the stripper offers a lapdance....

Update: Even I don't visit strip clubs anymore - I'd rather spend my money on a far chance of extra fun date, as opposed to a damn near guaranteed cost of penicillin.