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#1 (permalink) |
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Grouper
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New virus worm to avoid "WORK"
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).
If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest liquor store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life. |
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#4 (permalink) |
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Guppy
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SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S._._.T). We are trying to give our employees more S._._.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S._._.T. on the job, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S._._.T. list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S._._.T. you can handle. Employees who don't take their S._._.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S._._.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S._._.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S._._.T.). Since our supervisors took S._._.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S._._.T. anymore, and are all full of S._._.T. already. If you are full of S._._.T., you may be interested in a Job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L. S._._.T.). For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S._._T.). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S._._T. If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S._._.T.). Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING(B.I.G. S._._.T.) Thank you for your time. Sincerely, The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training. (The D.U.M.B. S._._.T.). PS - There is a job opening: Super High Intensity Training Higher Education And Research
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Who says Arabian Gulf Divers are mineless idiots? Last edited by pnevai : 10-09-2007 at 02:31 AM. |
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