One for the men...

[loudgonzo]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and
Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while
she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She
wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get
a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of

diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must
have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I
think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't
feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my
financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
b!&* knows I'm smarter than her.

[unclepooty]

DANG! that's funny

[scubaculture]

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...

And for a long long time I'd wager!

[ScubaJenn81]

You had me going for about 3/4th of that story.

[shadragon]

Originally Posted by loudgonzo

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

The only way she can cut you off is if she knows where you are getting it...

[cgvmer]

Well if she stays around after that one...your stuck for a long time....that is funny.

[teog]

Thats good stuff.haha

[Tableleg]

This has got to be a story... There's no way you had the kahones to do this...

[marchand]

I think I'm gonna try that one day...

[adv_diver1]

F emotional needs... there would not be such a thing if it was not for Oprah, Ellen or Dr. Phil...

Thanks alot you famous men relationship, got it down pat, got the chick, everything is in the bag, wreckers!!!

They should put testosterone is Pepsi, CocoCola and Starbucks instead of cafienne!!!!!!