Free trip to Vanuatu!!!

[picxie]

Ah ha, I knew that would get your attention!!

So, I have been seeing someone for about 6 months and they want to go to Vanuatu in a few months. Now, the topic has come up several times over the last few months and I have always stated sorry, I can't afford it. I have made it very clear that my finances won't allow a trip overseas this year. Now, the subject has come up again and the response this time was that it would be paid for me ... this wasn't too much of a surprise as it has been hinted before and I've always changed the topic before it was explicitly said. My answer was no - it's too much. But I've been told to think about it. I'm 98% certain my answer will remain no - I don't want to bludge off someone. Although there is a little 2% devil sitting on my shoulder telling me I'm an idiot - hello? A free diving trip to Vanuatu at a time I REALLY need a holiday??!!

So, I am curious. What would your answer be in a similar situation??

(Now hopefully this poll works!!)

[thesmoothdome]

I'm even uncomfortable if someone picks up the check in the restaraunt, so I understand your dilema. I'd wory that the trip would come back to haunt the relationship, but I'd be dying to go anyway.

[Charlotte Smith]

You only live once...QUESTION.....will you ever have a chance like this again?...If so...wait...if not.....GO!

[Jaymeany]

I say it depends on the relationship. if its the real deal roll with it and go. if its a relationship that is unpredictable (not that any really are) I'd jump on a liveaboard while they are away!

[deepdiver47]

Picxie, How serious are you with this person? After 6 months you should know if there is something there or not. It could be a situation whereby going on this trip your relationship may take the next step. From a means standpoint, what does this amount of money mean to a person like this? I don't think that it is a payback situation. As guys it is a bit unatural for a girl to spend this amount of money on us.

Don't let the hurd decide this for you. You need to decide this for yourself.

[Illini_Fan]

I've never had that opportunity present itself, but if it did I think it would be NO, unless I could figure out a way to pay for a portion of my trip. Like the thesmoothdome said, I'm not comfortable with someone paying for movie tickets for me, unless I know I'm paying for the popcorn right after that and it evens out.

But..... you also have to weigh the impact on the relationship if you say NO. This might be something of a gift in the eyes of your significant other that you are not accepting. Can you find a middle-ground and pay for food, surface intervals, etc... while the airfare and hotel / diving are paid on your behalf. That is not a 50/50 thing, but...

Ultimately, as deepdiver said, it is up to you.

[Centerius]

Originally Posted by Illini_Fan

But..... you also have to weigh the impact on the relationship if you say NO. This might be something of a gift in the eyes of your significant other that you are not accepting. Can you find a middle-ground and pay for food, surface intervals, etc... while the airfare and hotel / diving are paid on your behalf. That is not a 50/50 thing, but...

I voted for "yes," however it comes with a little bit of thinking. It may be a gift, but if you decide to accept it, since you are in a relationship with this person, you should make it clear that it's not something that he can "hold over your head" in the future. Say if you didn't want to do something in the future, he would say "but I took you on that vacation." It shouldn't be like that.

[94GTStang]

I say go for it! Just attempt to pay for things like food etc while down there. When you get back, put yourself on a payment plan

[cgvmer]

The way my work day is going, I would go away with anyone! UGH!

[ScubaCrash]

Yes this could be a VERY slippery slope you're about to tread on picxie, and there really isn't a delicate way of getting around saying no to the trip and not causing some heartburn, and saying yes is frought with it's own problems. If you both can sit down and discuss it without anyone's feelings being hurt, I would say have a chat and lay it all out about your feelings on the subject, see what's expected, would there be any expectations of repayment, would repaying the trip be an insult etc. Obviously I don't know either of you, so you'll have to be the one to assess the situation as to whether you can even have this type of disciussion. Either way, best of luck and I hope it works out well for you both