another funny one

[Tom A]

Bubba and Clem on Tipping in Cozumel, Mexico

Bubba and Clem, our heroes are still contemplating what to do tonight, eat like swine, party at Carlos n Charlie's , or chase down the girl in the yeller suit.
They remember the Mexican guide on the boat talking about a night dive. That's it they will go on a night dive. They call down to the divc shop and give them their Am Ex card for the dive. They are told to be at the dock at 7pm ready to go they will hire two extra crew members to tote them double monster tanks.
They check to see if their huge diver lights are fully charged. They get 4 back up lights to strap on their BCs. They have to find some of them glowie sticks too.
Down at the boat they see 22 divers ready for the nocturnal plunge. Clem spies the yeller bikini girl too. They all board the boat and the head Mexican dive guide, a PADI instructor, briefs the dive . Bubba thinks it reminds him of a DI at Paris Island. This is seriously lacking in the fun department.
They get all strapped into their stuff and add the extra backup lights and strap the battery pack ( the size of a 50 tank ) to the side of one of the tanks. This time they double check the 13.45 meter hose. They also do not bring a weight belt this time. The guys are smart ones now, experienced divers.
Bubba is chewing a huge wad of Skoll and is spitting over the side. A bunch of yuppies are smoking and thery toss the butts over the side. This angers Clem and he wispers to Bubba that "we outa trow their butts over the side".
Some guy on AOL an army frogman or summen like that told them about nit diving. Don't shin the light in anyone's eyes and turmn off when you get to the top. Sum really neat folks on AOL, they havn't seen anybody they didn't like yet.
Time to suit up. Clem remembers to put his hard cover copy of the PADI Divn Clclopedia in his waterproof pouch this time. Remember these ole boys got plenty of book learnin.
The fellers get dressed and look real cool with all the toys and lights and strobes dangling everywhere. Maybe we can be on the cover of Rodale's divn magazine they think.
They enter the water as smooth as silk this time and never hiot the bottom. This is great Clem thinks to hisself. They approach a coral rock and turn on the behemoth lights. The lights make a 747 landing lights pale in comparison. Clem figgers that he could cook an Oscar Meyer weenie by holding it in front of the light bulb.
The coral rock bursts into a rainbow of color but as the boys get closer, fish start dropping fromm the shock of the light output. Bubba thinks this is great, better than throwing M80s in a lake and getten the fish that float up.
The dive is up d then send up the lift bag and slowly ascent. This time they didn't catch any divers in the rope. Back aboard the boat a group of guys from Florida takes a shine to the good ole boys and asks them what they do back home. Bubba owns a 5000 acre horse ranch and Clem don't do nuthing cause his pappy woned the Georgia lottery.
The fellers from Georgia are intrigued by all the stuff Bubba and Clem have in their div bag. This inspires Bubba and Clem to bekome instructors. They heard it is easy to be a PADI instructor so they will go to Florida and be one soon as they get home.
To be continued....

[I ate nemo]

wow thats pretty funny but i think they should have blinded the mexicans that would have been funny!!!