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Thread: Play the game... Win a prize!!!!

  1. #21
    Moderator ST-Forum Mod PACKRMAN's Avatar
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    Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?


    Anyone can roast beef...



    Your special if you can Pee soup!
    Originally from the Great White North, I give you...

  2. #22
    Grouper
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    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
    Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
    So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
    Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
    The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
    The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo."
    ~NO Ma'am~

  3. #23
    Grouper
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    New Investment Definitions

    These terms have been redefined to fit current circumstances:

    CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer.

    CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer.

    BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

    BEAR MARKET - A six to eighteen month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex!

    VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.

    P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

    BROKER - What my broker has made me.

    (S&P) STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.

    STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

    STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

    MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.

    CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the Toilet.

    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a Nuthouse.

    MOMENTUM INVESTING - The fine art of buying high and selling low.

    'BUY, BUY' - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.

    FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-Eleven for toilet paper and cigarettes.

    CALL OPTION - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.

    YA HOO - What you yell after selling all you owned to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

    WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $240 per share.

    PROFIT - Religious guy who talks to God.

    ~NO Ma'am~

  4. #24
    Moderator ST-Forum Mod PACKRMAN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scubajane View Post
    bump....
    Speed???
    grind???

    Where are you going with this?
    Originally from the Great White North, I give you...

  5. #25
    Shark
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    Quote Originally Posted by PACKRMAN View Post
    Speed???
    grind???

    Where are you going with this?

    silly.... bump up to the new post page.....
    God is good, no matter what!!

  6. #26
    Megalops Atlanticus Diver Kat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scubajane View Post
    silly.... bump up to the new post page.....
    You wouldn't have to BUMP it up if you'd pick a winner .....





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  7. #27
    Moderator ST-Forum Mod PACKRMAN's Avatar
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    I just wanted you to say bump again
    Originally from the Great White North, I give you...

  8. #28
    Grouper
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    Who put the bump in the bumpshue bump who put the ram in the computers and how the hell do you feed the ram in the computer...hey look a bird
    ~NO Ma'am~

  9. #29
    Shark
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    nah!!! it be a squirrel....
    God is good, no matter what!!

  10. #30
    Grouper
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    Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
    A: Because you can't bury them in trees!

    Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
    A: He was trying to make both ends meet!

    Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
    A: A collie-flower!

    Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
    A: "Because no one else will do it for them!"

    Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
    A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

    Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
    A: New Yorkie!

    Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
    A: Growlcho Marx!

    Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
    A: "Well, doggone!"

    Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
    A: He stole the show!

    Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
    A: It chases parked cars!
    ~NO Ma'am~

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