Potential Baby Momma Problems

[neogeo]

So there's this girl, she's pregnant, she's my ex. We broke up early Sept. She started dating some guy a few weeks later. She's currently engaged to the guy. Well long story short. She's due any day/week. We don't know who the baby's dad is. Me or the other guy. I want to be the father, I grew up with out my real father around and could never do that to my own. She's happy one minute then the next she's saying "Geoff forget about me forget about the baby". She says its because she's giving me a way out. I asked her why she said that and she replied "that way your life doesn't change." I told her my minds made up and to please be civil about it, or I will have my attorney contact her. My question is do you think there's more to it? Has anyone been through anything similar? And what am I to do? Signing my rights away is not an option.

[mm2002]

Your first step should be a paternity test. If the baby is yours, go from there. If it's not, feel free to go on with your life. Maybe consider birth control in the future.

[neogeo]

Originally Posted by mm2002

Your first step should be a paternity test. If the baby is yours, go from there. If it's not, feel free to go on with your life. Maybe consider birth control in the future.

Yes taking a test whens she's born, but she's being all weird now about it as if she doesnt want me to be the father.

[scubastud]

Too bad for her, you have rights. There are several father rights organizations out there that will help.

[cummings66]

I think Mark summed up your options rather well. I would at this stage be nice and stay as far away from her as you can and still know what's going on. Do the math and play the odds right now. If she's been cheating on you for a long time the odds are that the baby is yours, and IMO seeing the baby born is an experience I would want to have.

So, be nice and work it out as best you can because if it is yours seeing the baby born is an experience you don't want to miss out on. Talk to her if you can about being present.

PS, you two are still talking I hope?

[tk trekers]

Neogeo, I think it's great and speaks highly of your character that you want to be involved and be a responsible parent if the child is yours. As a retired police officer having dealt with thousands of domestic issues, it sounds like she is trying to give you the way out because deep down she knows she shouldn't have put you in this position to begin with. Stick to your principles and make sure the child is yours. You already know what to do if it is.

Best of luck to you in dealing with this situation!

[Foo2]

Neo,
It doesn't matter if she "wants" you in the baby's life or not. If you are the father, you have rights to that child.

Originally Posted by tk trekers

it sounds like she is trying to give you the way out because deep down she knows she shouldn't have put you in this position to begin with.

Hopefully I'm reading this statement wrong. To me it appears that you are saying that the pregnancy is her fault? My thoughts...It takes two to tango.

Re-reading that, maybe you're saying that she shouldn't have been sleeping with 2 guys at the same time. If that's what you mean...I agree.

[tk trekers]

Originally Posted by Foo2

Neo,
It doesn't matter if she "wants" you in the baby's life or not. If you are the father, you have rights to that child.

Hopefully I'm reading this statement wrong. To me it appears that you are saying that the pregnancy is her fault? My thoughts...It takes two to tango.

Re-reading that, maybe you're saying that she shouldn't have been sleeping with 2 guys at the same time. If that's what you mean...I agree.

Yes, that's what I was trying to say!

[navyhmc]

Wish you luck Neo. But be prepared for disappointment. Could be she's hedging all bets by letting you know at this stage in the game.

[cummings66]

As much as I hate to say it, I've known a few women who hedge their bets. I suspect men do the same, in fact I know they do. It's a humanistic thing I guess.

At any rate, do what's right. No child deserves to have a broken home, or less than 2 parents. They all deserve to have a mom and a dad, so do what you can, assuming the child is yours.

I'm impressed with your desire to take responsibility, at your age it's something I see few step up and do. I for one appreciate it.