"Deep Thougts" - A tribute to Jack Handey

[Bigg_Budd]

One day, my friends dared me to dive into the shallow end of the pool...

I watch a lot of TV now.

– Jack Handey

[Scuba-Bill]

I think a pillow should be the peace symbol, not the dove. The pillow has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have a beak to peck you with.

-- Jack Handey

http://farstrider.net/DeepThoughts/Handey.htm

[kevinj1]

If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast.

--Jack Handey--

[Bigg_Budd]

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

– Jack Handey

[Vercingetorix]

Deep Thoughts

[Bring the Payne]

The crows were calling his name thought Caw.

[Foo2]

When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different.

-Jack Handey

[torrey]

"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."

Okay, interesting story about this one. Back when I was younger, I spent 4 summers working out at Philmont Boy Scout Ranch in Cimarron, NM as a cook. The camp was divided into two sections, the part that sends young scouts out into the mountains for a week and the part where scout leaders come to get trained (Philmont Training Center - PTC). I worked at PTC, serving up scout leaders and their families.

Anyway, one year I started writing Deep Thoughts up on the menu board just to give people a laugh as they waited in line. I had put the one above on the board one night to entertain the people coming in for breakfast. One of the morning workers comes and wakes me up in my tent (yes, we lived in large tents for the entire summer) and tells me the manager wants to talk to me. I go back to the kitchen and he says I can't do the deep thoughts anymore because somebody in the morning line got upset at the last one. It turns out, a clown had killed the guys dad!. This is not a joke. I quit writing them, but we couldn't help but laugh at the circumstances, manager included.

[thor]

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

-Jack Handey-

[Bigg_Budd]

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

– Jack Handey