TSA Humour...

[shadragon]

Lets hear about your amusing experiences with the TSA and Airport Security... Here is mine...

In Boston, I went through a screening line. She (A 20'ish young lady with shock red hair...) unpacked my reg which was in my carry on in a hard case and immediately bumped it against the side of the metal table. My sharp intake of breath and instinctive half lunge toward her got her attention.

"What is the matter?" She asks guardedly...

"Three things Miss.

A) That small piece of metal in your hand is worth twice what my air ticket cost.

B) My life depends on it when I go diving.

C) My ex-wife is still my beneficiary on my life insurance."

She blinked twice and then ROARED with laughter... She handled it with deference from then on...

[FOUNDATIONER]

I actually had a TSA guy attempt to
open one of my soft weights once

[DollFin]

My ex actually worked for TSA for a while at MSY (New Orleans Airport). He had both law enforcement and military experience, so he was one of the few there who actually knew what he was doing, what to look for and what NOT to be concerned with. Oh did he have stories about some of the BS he had to deal with, and most of it was from the other TSA workers!

My own personal favorite was the time I had a TSA guy stand there and stare at a hair clip he'd pulled from my bag. It was plastic and had these little itty bitty teeth that held it in place in my hair and he was just staring at it. I finally said "its... a... hair clip!" "Oh", was all he said.

[teog]

Ive been to several airports of the last couple of years and have found TSA member not to be the sharpest tool in the shed.lol

[bubble-head]

When I flew last month, I was not too impressed with TSA. They seemed to go out of their way to be particularly rude when people would speak to them. I don't think the standards are very high when they are hired but I'm sure there are some quality employees out there somewhere.

[CaribbeanDiver]

on my last trip, the resort packed a lunch consisting of a sandwich, banana and a smal baggie with 3 or 4 cookies. I packed it in a pocket of my carry-on and forgot about it.
going through customs in Atlanta, milo the drug sniffing dog alerts on my bag, the guard says, ok, what's in the bag? I explained and he said, let me see it. I did and was ok's to move on.
next stop, where the long meandering line ends, I get the "why do you have the sandwich? what kind of sandwich is it? let me see it.
then I moved on, passing a trashcan and I ditched the "contraband" in an attempt to avoid further hassle.
of course this just caused more hassle because the next stop, the one where you get your bag to carry around so you can check it again, I was asked for the sandwich and had to explain I ditched it. then they had to get it, inspect it and question me.

a second short story could be about my August Bahama trip with my son. On that trip, some TSA clown removed the TSA lock on my sons bag. it was never returned either. I paid about $15 for that lock, I was not very happy.

[WaScubaDude]

They made us throw out a water bottle that had droplets of water in it that I couldn't shake out. But I can go to Duty free and buy 1.5 liters of very flamable Over Proof Rum and walk right on the plane with it. The whole search thing is just a big sham to make us think they are doing something.
Its been proven time and again that real explosives can be smuggled through at will.

[scootermcfly]

I do plenty of traveling for work and I think some of these people are very amusing and have to put up with a lot of people like us.

So, I have had a right hip replacement five years ago and depending on the airport and the type of metal scanners that they use, I set it off real good having a large chunk of Titanium in my hip. I immediately tell them about it and that I have to be scanned using the wand, which gets me a ticket to the special line where I wait for an available TSA person to come wand and pat me down. Some have hardly patted me down, while others have come close to giving me a cavity search in public depending on their mood.

Best part is, I set off about 95% of the scanners, and when I don't, I usually ask how they have it set. This gets their attention and they usually ask why I care and I tell them that I am a QA tester for them and I have a large chunk of metal that didn't seem to make theirs go off. I then get pulled aside, wanded, and questioned. Then I watch them change the settings on the scanner and act a little miffed about someone testing them.

Scooter McFly

[I ate nemo]

i dont know what tsa stands for but in the orlando airport made my brother start balling cuz he didnt want to go through the metal detector so they tried to brib him with candy but he started crying more then they freaked out.

[Garrobo]

Their's not much that's really funny about the TSA sham and their employees or their antics. Sort of reminds me of the monkey house at the local zoo during nap time. When 75% of the planted contraband and simulated explosives and weapons gets past them it makes you wonder what their purpose really is.