The life of an Italian child...

[Anne Eastwell]

Courtesy of my Italian partner, who swears most of this is his childhood!


You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.

You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sangwich."

Your family dog understood Italian.

Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.

You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.

You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals day, not seven.

You thought killing the pig each year and having salami, capacollo, pancetta and prosciutto hanging out to dry from your shed ceiling was absolutely normal.

You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday.

You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.

You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.

You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.

You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.

Your mum's main hobby is cleaning.

You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.

You thought that everyone made their own bottled tomato sauce.

You never knew what to expect when you opened the margarine, after all you thought washing out and reusing margarine containers was normal.

You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter.

You ate your salad after the main course.

You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.

Your were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or broom.

You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand.

Your grandmother never threw anything away, you thought seeing washed plastic bags hanging on the clothes line was normal.

You learned to play scopa before you went to school.

You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.

You have at least one relative who came over on the boat.

All of your uncles fought in a World War.

You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Frank, Joe or Louie.

You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.

You have relatives you don't speak to.

You drank wine before you were a teenager.

You relate on some level, admit it, to the Godfather and the Sopranos.

You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.

Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.

You thought that talking loud was normal.

You thought sugared almonds and the Tarantella were common at all weddings.

You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.

Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.

There was a crucifix in every room of the house, including the cellar.

Boys didn't do house work because it was women's work.

You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father. (oh, and he has to be Italian)

You know what granita is.


Your Christmas tree was silver.


You called pasta macaroni.


You have at least one irrational fear or phobia that can be attributed to your mother.


Your father is either a gardener, builder or mechanic.


You dreaded taking out your lunch at school, you would pray that you didn't have melanzane again.

[dallasdivergirl]

I was married to an italian guy, I know this drill.

you forgot the alter boy predictions of priestnood

[PlatypusMan]

Originally Posted by dallasdivergirl

I was married to an italian guy, I know this drill.

you forgot the alter boy predictions of priestnood

I hope you meant Altar boy--the other is just too ghastly to contemplate...


PPM

[cgvmer]

Not a drop of Italian blood in my system, yet spending my childhood in an Italian neighborhood in Jersey City, much of that comes rushing back to me.

[Osprey]

Granddaddy still visits the relatives back in Milano.. yeah, my childhood is smeared all over this LOL

[Anne Eastwell]

I'm as Aussie as you get and grew up in a very Italian suburb in Sydney and I can relate to a lot of these!! It's funnier when your partner tells stories about each one.

[SkuaSeptember]

I live in the same neighborhood,but outside of Boston instead.
Missing from the list:
You know the difference between sauce and gravy.

[riverrat]

Being half Italian I have to admit, these are funny and bring back memories of Boston where grandparents lived. But I'll take a ribeye and baked sweet potatoe any day over pizza.

[Splitlip]

That is GREAT. Gonna send it to my mom.

Only it is pronounced sang-A-which.

[Splitlip]

Originally Posted by SkuaSeptember

Missing from the list:
You know the difference between sauce and gravy.

I was going to mention that. Very good.