Ahhh, Monday morning....

[Anne Eastwell]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49

Adventurous - Slept with everyone

Athletic - No tits

Average looking - Spooky

Beautiful - Pathological liar

Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure - On medication

Feminist - Overweight

Free spirit - Junkie

Friendship first - Former very "friendly" person

Fun - Annoying

New Age - Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded - Desperate

Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate - Sloppy drunk

Professional - Bitch

Voluptuous - Very Overweight

Large frame - Hugely Overweight

Wants Soul mate - Stalker


WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!


And finally....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrualcycle .

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man withrugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in gasolineand set on fire, with scissorsstuck in his eye and a tree stump shoved up his ass.

[BeachBunnyCrissy]

I needed this laugh today.... Sunday is my monday at work

[Tableleg]

This REALLY needs to be posted in the Man Law's forum.

[dallasdivergirl]

Sure, go ahead = you better not

If I ever say, "sure, go ahead" it's not going to be pretty later.

[scubajane]

obviously we have no man issues here!!!
even hubby chuckled.
If you don't know whether or not you have PMS... ask your husband